Curaçao Dreaming
by Itdoesringabell
Summary: /Post Season 5/ Some always find the help they need.
1. Chapter 1

**_I have absolutely no idea where this story is going to go. But I like how I suddenly get inspired by it so, I decided to go with it. This is post 5x24. And it is not the dair fluff that I promised, but don't worry, the fluff is coming._**

**_I'm rating M because I know myself way too well. And because a review mentioned it...this is not a thriller haha. I would suck so bad at writing thrillers._**

**_Just tell me if it sparks some kind of interest in you. Bisous !_**

* * *

There was not one thing not to love about his life. At age twenty-three, Daniel Humphrey could say that he had achieved a writing career to be envied by many. He had stopped counting the awards after the fifth one, to try not to lose too much of modesty. But his second novel had just been reedited and his first one was becoming popular in Europe. The United States weren't the only country which had succumbed to his storytelling; he got seduced by the daughter of the Belgium ambassador just because she knew he was "Dan Humphrey".

It was not a thing he had gotten accustomed to, his being popular with the female kind. Although he thought it would be insane not taking advantage of it, each time he woke up in a stranger's bed, he had a hard time finding that boy that any physical relation should be empowered by a wave of strong feelings.

Even though he hadn't published an actual novel in two years, the last one still had everyone on a tight leash. He was still solicited for interviews, talk shows, lectures and publishing reviews. Everyone always thought he was bright, smart, and funny, it seemed like his popularity would never stop growing.

Amongst all the fury of appreciation, Nate Archibald remained his only and true friend from his old life. And Dan himself remained Nate's only true friend. Neither of them had seen Serena, Chuck or Blair in two years. Not a phone call, not a card, not a letter, nothing. So they automatically grew back to each other. Their friendship was actually the only thing keeping Dan sane, sometimes. Whenever he lacked of inspiration, whenever he felt like he was going to drown under all the thoughts running through his mind, he called Nate. And Nate would always be there, no matter what.

Except that night, when Dan was sitting in a bar of Willemstad and Nate had stayed home with a food poisoning. There was only a certain amount of oysters he could ingurgitate. They had been in Curacao since the beginning of summer. It had been Nate's idea and Dan followed, hoping the sun, the sea and the rum would rekindle his stagnant inspiration. But all they had been doing was getting with the finest of Dutch and British society vacationing there with them. Everything had been a blur of idleness, alcoholic cocktails, gambling, sex and drugs.

They always went to the same bar at night, creating a sort of tradition they would always remember once they go back to New York. That night, Dan was alone, and watching the people dancing, ordering drinks, trying to find which one of them could provide him with a new trait of behavior for his newest character. He watched them shamelessly, because whenever he was creating, he felt invisible. The outside world ceased to exist. Life was actually the base of a whole new dimension that was taking form in his head.

Except he wasn't invisible. A girl had noticed him. When she approached him, he couldn't go on pretending he was in an unreachable crate. She was tall, blond, with blue eyes, dressed like a Vogue cover. Dan had seen this kind of girl before, Dan had fallen in love with this kind of girl before.

"Hi, can I buy you a drink?" she asked him with a confident smile.

"Wow. Bald. I don't normally get asked that" he had become used to talk to women. He still stuttered sometimes, but they usually found it adorable.

"I'm on vacation" she said with a shrug "Trying new things"

She told him her name at one point but Dan didn't care enough to remember it. The only thing that he found interesting about her was her deep cleavage. Sue him.

So he didn't bother ask any questions, and only answered hers.

"What do you do, when you're not on this island?"

"I write. I am a writer"

"Really?" she leaned closer and her cleavage gained in interest. "Anything I would have read?"

"Do you even read?" his tone was extremely condescending but he didn't even regret it. He was certain she knew she didn't strike as the intellectual type.

"I've just finished _The Element of Life_ by Slacker. Completely overrated."

Dan leaned up, surprised. Never judge a book by its cover, Rufus had taught him that. He had never quite followed it though, and now he was taught that he had been wrong not to.

"Good" he said, clinking his glass with her "I've actually met the guy. Couldn't be more presumptuous."

She laughed and it sounded a bit like wind chimes.

"Now if you've met him, you've probably written something that I've read. What do you write about?" she said.

"About what I know"

"And what do you know?"

"People who pretend they are something they're not. People who think they can get away with anything just because they were born luckier than others. People who will use you shamelessly and throw you away once they are done with you. People who will reject their own pain on you, because they've never been taught how to handle it."

She looked at him, her brows frowned. Dan knew his answer didn't make sense to her, but it was the only thing that had come to his mind when he had heard the question. She leaned even closer, to the point where Dan could see the hem of her bra inside her dress.

"You're the one who wrote _The Non-Judging Breakfast Club?_" she asked with a low voice, and Dan was sure he could hear arousing in it. "You're Daniel Humphrey?"

"The one and only"

She gave him a light smile and started playing with her necklace, twirling it between two fingers, just above her breasts.

"My hotel isn't very far" she said "You can tell me all about what inspired you to write that brilliant piece over there, if you want"

Dan took a gulp of his whisky "No" he then said.

She looked taken aback and her smile faltered.

"My house is two blocks away and we can find something else to do than talking about my book."

Her smile was bright again, and she took his arm, following him to his insular castle. When they got there, Dan offered her a flute of champagne, then another one, then another again. She was drunk very fast and when Dan put music on, she kicked off her heels and started dancing on the coffee table.

Nate appeared, making his way to the kitchen. Dan followed him, leaving the girl in her inhibited bubble.

"See you're doing fine without me. She's hot." Nate told him, pouring himself a glass of water.

"She's a big fan of the _NJBC_" Dan said, leaning back against the counter "If we tell her you're one of them, she would be so in for a threesome."

"Ha man, don't tempt me" Nate said with a laugh "You know seeing you naked has always been one of my life goals."

"That's why I'm suggesting"

"Then I appreciate the offer, but maybe next time. These oysters are giving me a hard life. Have a good night though."

"Thanks"

They gave each other the manliest hug they could and Nate went back to his room while Dan joined his guest in the living room. He didn't take her long to land on his lap on the couch. From that moment, Dan turned off his brain. He let her unbutton his shirt, he let her unzip his pants and when she got down on her knees, he rested simply his hands on her shoulders.

As he watched her head dip in and the feeling was overtaking him, he didn't think of anything, except perhaps that little phrase Nate always said after inhaling a line of the finest powder.

_Yeah, that's the stuff_.

But then Dan isn't in Curacao anymore. Gone the palm trees, gone the turquoise sea, gone the open air markets and the fresh smell of papayas.

Somehow, he is back in New York. And not anywhere in New York. On one of his absolute favorite place in the city. Standing on steps, as the glorious building holding the finest pieces of art is erected behind him. And before him, she is standing.

She is wearing a long, pink, puffy dress and a furry white jacket. Somehow, cubic zirconia is set on her hair, but it doesn't seem to be what makes her look so confused.

Dan can hear himself say "I just thought you should get to feel like a princess one last time"

Then screams, bright colors, and a smile. The most grateful Dan has ever seen, the most loving. This smile makes him feel like he is the only one that matters, and motivates him to do anything to be able to see it again. She says "thank you" but she doesn't need to. The smile is more than enough.

Dan woke up, but didn't open his eyes right away. The longer he kept them shut, the more he could relive his dream, his memory.

It wasn't the first time he had dreamt about this particular time of his life. In two years, a hundred of those dreams had come back and haunt him. He eventually opened his eyes to see that the girl from last night was gone and that the sun was in the process of rising, leaving the dawn into a pure stillness, like the dream had left Dan's entire being into a numb state.

The emptiness he felt was paralyzing. At that moment, naked in his bed, he felt like nothing could ever feel good or at least appreciable again. He turned on his side, tried to shake the feeling out of his body. But as soon as his body stopped moving, it was there again.

So he got up, put pants on and went to Nate's room. He opened the door quietly, trying not to startle his friend out of his sleep. But Nate's bed was empty. When Dan stepped into the room, the chill air led him to look over at the balcony. Nate was sitting there, his feet propped up against the bars, a joint in his hands.

Dan joined him, taking seat on the second chair on the balcony.

"So early?" he said, pointing at the joint.

Nate shrugged "Is there ever a wrong time? What's up?"

Dan let the silence answer, because he knew Nate knew him well enough to understand. Indeed, Nate asked;

"Which dream was it this time?"

"The Met Steps"

"Classic"

Dan laughed at Nate's response. This dream was indeed one of the recurring ones. At the beginning, Dan couldn't figure out why this one and not the others. But after the seventh time, he got it. It was the smile. Even until that tropical morning, Dan had never seen such a smile; he had never felt in front of a smile what he had felt in front that one.

Nate passed him the joint and stretched a little.

"How about we go to the beach today? Storm season is coming and they've announced rain for the next three days."

"Sounds good" Dan simply answered, taking a drag. "We should find people to spend those rainy days with. And we're out of rum."

"I don't know, I was actually planning on staying quietly in. Get some work done."

Dan sighed, because he knew Nate was actually pretending to have work so Dan could stay home and write too. But there were times when Dan refused to force the words out of his brain, and he would patiently wait for some sort of literary epiphany.

"As you want, man" he told Nate, passing back the joint to him.

"But I'm still in for the rum" Nate said "We can even watch those Israeli movies of yours if you want. I'll bear it better once I'm wasted."

The two of them stayed on the balcony in silence, until the sea on the horizon had completely stopped hiding the sun.

The weather predictions had been truthful. Dan couldn't sleep that night, the racket of the wind against the window picturing the jumble of thoughts going through his mind. Dan was certain that if he fell asleep, he would dream of her again. He could never predict what dream he was going to have, but he could often predict when he was going to dream of her.

And that day, when all he had felt was the burden of a lingering loneliness, she had been all he could think of.

He wondered if he would ever see her again. He wanted to, so very much. Not because he missed her, although he did, but because he wanted to be sure it hadn't all been in his head, that it hadn't been just a silly dream of his. But then, if they were ever to cross path again, she would probably be holding the hand of another, the one she had left him for, when he would be standing, facing them, alone. Sometimes he would feel bipolar, when thinking of her. He could hate her with a burning passion one day and wish nothing but her happiness the next. Because two years after, he had come to terms with the fact that he would probably never get over her.

When morning came, Dan still wasn't sleeping and the intensity of the rain hadn't dropped for one bit. So he got out of bed and went to sit in front of his desk with an open notebook and a pencil. Nate was right, if they were to be confined in the house for two days, he might as well try to get further in his writing.

Once he started, he was actually able to get a good flow going. It wasn't his usual inspiration, but he could always go back to it later and work on the mediocre parts. The important was to have an outline good enough to occupy him for hours and prevent him to fall asleep. He couldn't bear the idea of another dream, and all the questions that it would bring along in his head. It didn't take long for him to get comfortable in his wooden chair, with the sound of the rain pouring over the trees behind the glass window and the on-and-off scratchy sound of the pencil on the paper.

He didn't know how long he had been at it when Nate knocked on the door. He didn't stop writing but told him to enter. Nate did so with a little smile when he saw Dan in front of the notebook.

"At least one of us is able to be productive, today" he said, dropping his entire body on Dan's bed. "It's the rain, isn't it? Puts you in an artsy mood."

Dan laughed, finally putting down his pencil.

"Yeah, probably. But it's getting annoying, really. I've been kinda forcing things lately"

"Huh. Well I'm still in for the rum and _Eyes Wide Open_, if you want"

Dan stretched "Are you actually suggesting we watch an independent Israeli movie? I thought it was just a joke"

"I never make empty promises. So, what do you say? Get in the shower and meet me in the living room?"

"Why do I have to shower only to get wasted in the middle of the day?" Dan groaned.

"Because we're the upper class, Dan. Even when we take a depraved road, we take it with class, Cece style."

Dan didn't flinch when Nate referred to the two of them as the upper class. He resigned to stop with the brooklynite act the last time he saw his bank account report. He was done pretending. Dan wanted to embrace whatever life wanted to give him.

They couldn't really watch the movie though. It was one of the finest pieces of cinematographic drama Dan had seen in his entire life, still Nate found a joke to make about it every thirty seconds. And since they had really gotten going on the rum, Dan couldn't help laughing.

At one point, he decided to teach Nate how to play chess, then realized they didn't own a chessboard. So they played Monopoly. It was the quietest time they had spent together since they had arrived in Curacao, and Dan liked it. He could see Nate was enjoying it too. They had stopped a long time ago to try not to think too much of their bromance. Now Dan could easily say that he could probably not live one day without Nate by his side.

Still, Dan had lost the comfortable feeling of a quiet time. There had always been something interesting going on in his life for the past two years and that day, the time had stopped still, leaving him in an unexpected anxiety. To him, it was just a moment before something as tumultuous as the storm outside was to hit their lives.

He had been right.

Nate had managed to get his little car on the prison case for the third time when heavy knocks on the front door dragged them out of their game. They both had the reflex to look at each other, before looking out the window at the pouring rain and back at each other.

"Did you invite someone?" Nate asked him.

Dan shook his head, and then watched Nate get up from the floor, and stagger to the front door. He saw him open the door carefully and the outside wind whistled loudly inside, bringing along a sudden chill. Nate was standing in front of the door, his clothes and hair messed up by the heavy blow, looking at something that Dan couldn't see. But judging on Nate's confused face, it couldn't be something good.

Nate eventually broke the eye contact with whatever he was looking at and turned to Dan.

"Dude. I…you…gotta see that"

Dan started to get up, hesitantly; the rum was hitting him harder than earlier. He went to stand next to Nate and the vision he got made him vow to stop drinking. He was probably getting hallucinations, and extremely bad ones.

Because what he was seeing couldn't be real.

But then, he looked at Nate, who seemed to be waiting for his reaction. Dan could see on Nate's face that they were asking themselves the same questions, and that was when he knew. There were no hallucinations, no dreams, and no bad effect of the rum. The vision was as true as the nausea that was overtaking him.

Blair was standing there, her eyes fixed on them, her left cheek purple, and she was holding the hand of Serena, standing next to her, an immensely swollen stomach under a green dress. They were both wet, they both had bags at their feet, and they both looked scared.

"We didn't know who else to turn to"

Blair's voice was what vindicated Dan's nausea. He could breathe better, but still could not register the extent of the situation. Serena was the next one to talk.

"Please, help us."


	2. Chapter 2

**_Still have no idea where this is going. I don't understand this fic. But as least, I'm able to think of a continuity. But I might leave it for a while and focus on the dair fluff in my head. There's only a certain amount of angst one can bear, even though dairlings have been through so much we're basically immuned. Or not. _**

**_Anyway, hope you'll enjoy it! Bisous_**

* * *

It feels as if his heart is being ripped out of his chest, and then put back into place only to be ripped off again. Dan is sure he has never been in such emotional pain before. He should've known what getting in this relationship would bring upon his life.

He is disgusted with himself, and he is disgusted with her. He hasn't felt this way toward her for years, and now it's back, because he just realized that perhaps she had been an illusion.

He hates what she has made of him, of his dignity, of his morals and of his principles.

Dan is standing in front of his computer, looking at the messages on the screens. Emails that he has been getting for a week, but that he never opened, because he knows what they are about. Apologies he doesn't even deserve, because he has hurt her too. She just doesn't know it yet. But then, she probably wouldn't care, for it seems Chuck Bass is certainly the only thing she has ever given a shit about.

He finds himself despising her again.

The front door opens behind him and a spark of hope lights inside him. But when he turns around, it's not her. It's someone else, that even though has been part of his life for five years, he doesn't recognize. It's someone that he doesn't want to see, because she reminds him of how despicable he really is. But she is there, he is in pain and she happens to be one of the causes of this particular feeling. So he is going to hurt her, he decides, so she can feel how he feels.

She makes things easier when she tells him she loves him. He rejects her, shamelessly, harshly, like they were never even friends.

Dan's body shot up before he even opened his eyes. That was new. He had never dreamt of Serena before. But considering the recent events, it was less than surprising. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to remember. Had everything happened just like in his memory? Had Serena and Blair really shown up at their doorstep in Curacao, asking for their help, then fallen asleep because of the time difference before they could even explain what they were doing there?

There was only one way to be sure. Dan got out of his bed and walked to Nate's room. On the way, he became aware of the fact that it was still raining. Dan opened the door carefully and held his breath at the vision. Blair and Serena were lying on the bed, still dressed like they were the previous day. Blair was on her back, her right hand resting on her stomach. Her body seemed rigid; Dan could tell she was not getting a peaceful sleep. He looked at her attentively, because for the first time in two years, he could.

He had missed her face. He had missed her eyes looking at him. He had missed her nose turning up at his greasy meals. He had missed her lips smiling at him. God, her lips, he had missed feeling them brushing on his. He looked at the purple bruise on her cheek, staining her perfect porcelain complexion. She hadn't said how she had gotten it. She hadn't said much, actually. The few words she had pronounced had been directed at Nate. She had avoided Dan's glare like it would strike her with some sort of curse.

Serena shifting position startled him a little, and drew him out of his reverie. He then looked at her, the object of his latest dream. Dan had a hard time accepting it was actually her, sleeping on this bed, he hand casually resting on her round stomach, subconsciously soothing the being living inside. His eyes stayed on her stomach for a while. Serena was going to be a mother. Ever since Milo had left his life and Blair had lost her baby, the possibility of one of them becoming a parent had seemed absurd to him. He couldn't see how a child could healthily grow up if raised by one of them. But then, as he was standing in the dark of a room on a tropical island, with the sound of the rain against the wooden widows, he was aware that the circumstances had changed. None of them were probably the same person they used to be. Dan couldn't figure out if it was a good thing or not, but it didn't really feel like one.

His eyes had been on Serena's belly for so long that when he flew them higher, his heart skipped a bit when he saw her looking at him.

"Jesus, Serena…"

She looked like a creature in a horror movie, Dan thought. She wasn't smiling or frowning, her face didn't show any kind of expression. She was just looking at him, without even blinking. It made Dan extremely uncomfortable, but he couldn't tear his gaze from hers. When she motioned to sit up in the bed, he couldn't help but take a step back.

That was when an expression formed on her face. Incredulity.

"Really, Dan? I'm not going to eat you" she whispered.

"How would I know? Look how fat you've gotten" he whispered back.

Humor, like it was the time for that. It was the first time they were talking since they had crushed each other two years earlier and he was being fucking humorous.

Serena managed to get quietly out of bed and walked out of the room, pushing him with her. Right before she closed the door, Dan managed to get a last peek at Blair. Now that he had seen her again, he didn't know how long he could go without having her in his field of vision. He was dragged out of his thoughts by a firm slap.

"Ouch ! What the fuck was that for?" he looked at Serena, confused.

"I'm not fat" she said, and started making her way to the kitchen "I'm hungry" she said.

Dan followed her.

"Serena, you are not eating my food until you tell me why you showed up, heavily pregnant at my doorstep."

Serena stopped walking and turned around with the most serious face.

"It's yours, Dan."

Dan failed at swallowing the lump in his throat.

"What?" he asked between coughs.

Serena burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, you should've seen your face. We haven't seen each other in two years, genius."

Once they arrived to the kitchen, they found Nate sitting at the table, coffee in hand. He looked up at the both of them and Dan saw Serena's smile falter.

"Hi, Nate" she said in the shiest voice Dan had ever heard her feature.

"Good morning" Nate answered, never looking away from her "I made coffee"

Serena had a light chuckle "I can't" she said, rubbing her belly "But thanks"

She took the seat facing him while Dan poured himself a cup of coffee. Then he went to sit next to Nate, and they both looked at Serena. She held their glares with a smile for so long it became disconcerting. Nate was the first one to break.

"Serena, you gotta give us something. What the hell is going on?"

Serena exhaled a deep sigh.

"Alright, but only if you make me the biggest breakfast ever afterwards"

"Deal" Dan said "Spill it, now."

"I've been traveling a lot for the past two years. With the money that I got from Cece's death, I went a little everywhere. Nevada, Canada, Mexico, Ecuador, Netherlands, Thailand, Australia."

"But why did you leave town in the first place?" Nate asked.

Dan looked down at his coffee. He had never told Nate what had went down between him and Serena at the Shepperd's divorce party.

"Let's just say that New York had stopped feeling like home" Serena simply said, her eyes on Dan. "I did go into rehab twice. Once in Switzerland, and once in Italy. One time for alcohol, the other time for heroine"

"Heroine? Jesus, Serena" Nate scoffed.

Serena just rolled her eyes, like it was nothing.

"It's over now. I'm better now. Anyway, the next thing I know, I'm in the outskirts of Prague, in a little cottage owned by this charming women called Madezda, and I'm having those terrible cramps. At first, I thought I was having the runs…"

Dan and Nate groaned.

"But then when I went to the bathroom, nothing happened" Serena said "So Madezda convinced me to go to the doctor. And that's how I found out I was going to have a baby."

"Okay" Nate said "And you've decided to keep it?"

"Well, obviously" Serena rolled her eyes again "At first I was sure I could do it. I moved to Brussels, found an apartment, and invested some money. But life started to get difficult. The money was running out, I didn't know how to access to my other funds. And to be honest I started to get extremely depressed. I had no friend, no family and I realized my baby was going to grow up without knowing its father because I would be unable to tell which one of the two Italians I had had a threesome with the week I got pregnant."

Dan choked on his coffee and Nate whistled in terrified awe.

"Or the French guy I fucked the day after that."

"Okay, Serena" Nate interrupted her. "So what happened in Brussels?"

"All the feelings were becoming too heavy to handle. So one night, I decided to kill myself"

She had said this with the most casual tone, looking at them like she had just told them her grocery list. Dan and Nate looked at each other, then back to Serena.

"I had everything prepared" she said. "I was going to have a nice dinner, and then swallow the sleeping pills I had been keeping just in case."

"Why…why didn't you do it?" Dan didn't know if it was something to ask, but he wanted to know.

"I was just pouring myself a glass of water to take the pills when the bell rang. So I answered, and there was Blair. I think I was actually waiting for someone to come and save me. And I hadn't spoken to her in two years, yet, she was there. She said she needed to get away, and that she needed me."

"How did she find you, though? How did she find us?" Nate asked.

"Ha" Serena smiled "Well if you want to know, Blair has actually been stalking the three of us."

"What do you mean?" Dan's fingers tightened around hid cup.

"She has a little notebook, where she keeps track of where we have been for the past two years and when we have been there. The two of you and myself. I think she hires a PI from time to time to find out. Then she takes note and returns to her life."

"Why would she do that?" Nate seemed confused.

"I think she wanted to be sure we were all okay" Serena said.

A moved silence settled upon them, but Serena's reveal only made Dan understand something.

"So, she has been with Chuck this whole time?"

"I think so" Serena nodded "But she never talked about it since we've been together. When she arrived, I told her what I was about to do and she said she wanted to help me, but couldn't because she was a mess too. Then she said that she knew who could help me, and who could help her, but that she was scared they wouldn't want to. But we decided to at least try, and that's how we ended up at your door"

Dan felt Nate moving on his chair.

"What would you have done, if we'd refused?" Nate asked in a low voice.

Serena's attitude wasn't as nonchalant as it was at the beginning of the conversation. Nate's question had put her into an intense thinking process.

"I don't know" she answered, eventually. "I think it's best if I don't even think about an alternate situation."

"Serena ! Serena !" Blair's panicked voice startled them all, and Dan could hear the sounds of her feet on the parquet floor getting closer.

"I'm in the kitchen, B!" Serena answered, getting up.

When Blair arrived and saw Serena, she sighed, relieved, and went to take her friends in her arms.

"I couldn't remember where I was" she almost whimpered "I thought I had lost you"

"I'm here, B" Serena gently stroked her back. "We're all here"

Serena's last sentence reminded Blair of where she actually was. She looked over Serena's shoulder to see Nate and Dan looking at the two of them. When Serena pulled away, Blair didn't know what to do with her body.

Nate got up and squeezed her shoulder lightly.

"Good to see you, Blair"

There was a time where he would have hugged her to say hello, or at least kiss her on the cheek. But now, pressing her shoulder between his fingers was actually more appropriate. It made Blair's heart ache a little.

"I'm gonna start on your breakfast, Serena" Nate said "What would you like?"

Serena looked at Blair and Dan, and then followed Nate in front of the fridge. When they started to get lost in menu editing, Blair dared to look at Dan. His eyes had been on her the whole time, and she had been aware of it. But she couldn't bear to return the gesture until that moment.

"Hi" she said.

Dan didn't answer, but got up to stand in front of her. She saw his eyes travel over her face and stop at the bruise on her cheek. He held up his hand and with his thumb, grazed over the little purple stain.

"What happened?" he whispered.

Blair closed her eyes, and let the decibel of his voice run through her body. It was exactly how she remembered. Deep, sincere, caring. How evident was it that after two years apart, the first thing that he would do, would be worrying about her?

"I was wrong" she heard herself say. She didn't know why she had said it, but now it was out there.

Dan looked at her, confused, but before they could take the conversation further, Nate stood next to them.

"I'll need your mad skills at waffle-making, dude."

Dan looked at Nate, then back to Blair, then back to Nate. He saw the insistent look his friend was giving him and nodded.

"Blair, Serena, there is a bowl of fruit in the living room" Nate said "Could you go choose some to make juice with, please?"

Serena took Blair's hand and they both walked out of the kitchen. As Dan was pouring flour into a large bowl, Nate stood next to him and started cooking bacon.

"Be careful" he said.

Dan knew Nate was worried about him. Nate was the one who had been there after the disastrous downfall of his relationship with Blair. But Dan also knew he wasn't the only one playing with fire.

"You too" he told Nate, not looking at him.

Nate, understanding what he was talking about, shook his head.

"It's not the same, man. It's been over for longer than you and Blair, and it was a cleaner end than yours" he said.

"Come on, Nate. One does not get over Serena Van der Woodsen that easily, trust me"

"Same for Blair Waldorf. Trust me."

Nate gave him a final warning look before Blair and Serena came back with their fruits selection. They all continued to prepare breakfast in silence, and sat around the table to eat without emitting a sound. Only the racket of the storm outside could be heard.

Serena put in her plate four waffles, five slices of bacon and a little mountain of scrambled eggs; then she laced all of that with maple syrup. It was what broke the heavy silence. Nate was the first to laugh, then Blair followed and Dan couldn't help asking how many children she was having. Serena ignored them all and started eating with appetite.

They didn't say a word after that. When they were done with breakfast, Nate showed the girls where to shower and change. Blair was the first one to go and when she got out, she made sure Serena would be fine before joining the boys in the living room. She wasn't surprised finding them smoking a joint and talking really low. She cleared her throat to notify them of her presence.

They both turned toward her and Nate held up the joint in her direction. She turned up her nose at it.

"I mean, come on, Archibald."

Nate shrugged and took a long drag. Blair started playing with her hands, looking down at her feet.

"I wanted to tell you both thank you" she said "For accepting to host us. We really didn't know where to go."

Dan didn't look at her, nor answered. He simply took the joint from Nate's hand and sat back in his chair.

"No problem" Nate said. "But we only have two rooms, so you girls can share mine and I'll be sleeping on the couch."

"Oh I would be perfectly fine with the couch" Blair blurted out, feeling guilty of invading their comfort.

Nate chuckled and gave her a knowing look.

"I mean, come on, Waldorf."

Blair smiled and hesitated before going to sit next to Nate on the couch. He took her hand in his and placed a kiss on it.

"It is really good to see you, you know" he told her.

Blair's smile widened, because it was a hint that their relationship could recover.

"So Serena told us her story" Nate said "What about yours?"

Blair turned her head to the right, just to check. Indeed, Dan was now looking at her. She knew he wanted answers, but she didn't know how to give them without hurting him.

"I'm not sure I'm ready" she said. "Maybe tomorrow, when I won't be as jetlag as today."

Nate didn't insist and Dan hated him for that. He got up and went to his room, without a look for them. He didn't know what he was going to do, he just couldn't handle being next to Blair.

She looked so different to him, but he had the feeling he could fall in love with her all over again. He wasn't even sure he had fallen out of love with her. Nate was right. He ought to be careful. Dan sat behind his desk and opened his notebook.

At that instant, writing was all he could do. But he couldn't continue what he had started the previous day. Rereading his own words, he found them dull, without content, and extremely poor in meaning and emotions. He was finding himself to be an example of easy literature, with bad prose.

The thought made him nauseous. He wanted to change that. He needed to change that. Because if he couldn't be a writer, he couldn't be anything. And she would see that she had made the right choice, leaving him alone on a plane to Rome two summers ago.

Dan torn the used pages and let them fall on the floor. He was going to forget she was right outside the door and start focusing on himself again. It was the only way he would survive.

He didn't answer when Nate knocked on the door to tell him lunch was ready or later, that they were going to watch a movie. Dan decided he would be the only one deciding when to stop writing. As long as he didn't feel satisfied, he was going to write, write and write again.

It was a very ambitious motive, because the evening was coming and he still hadn't reached the completion he was looking for. However, his wrist started to get sore and Dan decided to stop, much against his will.

He was sweating. The storm had brought a very heavy, humid atmosphere and Dan hadn't moved from his chair all day. He got up, stretched and took his towel before getting out of the room. He could smell that something was cooking. Too good to be Nate's doing, and too spicy to be Blair's. He had a light smile, thinking that having a pregnant woman with them might at least help them to feed better.

After his shower, he went to join the three others in the kitchen and found Nate and Blair setting the table, as Serena was standing in front of a stewpot on the stove.

"Look who finally decided to show up" Nate said "Will your Eminence sit next to us at dinner?"

Dan punched him lightly on the shoulder.

"I was working" he said "How was your day?"

"I crushed them at Monopoly" Serena said, looking into the pot.

"And I felt the baby move" Nate said, smiling at her, and she smiled back.

Dan looked at his friend who couldn't get the goofy smile off his face. Dan thought he would have to intervene soon, to help Nate. He knew too well the feeling of falling in love with a pregnant woman, even though he was not the father. Just knowing that she was carrying made her look so loving and lovable.

They all sat at the table and ate Serena's stew. Dan was impressed. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten a real homemade meal. Rufus didn't really cook anymore, after the annulment of his marriage. Actually, Rufus didn't really do anything anymore.

Serena got tired fast and Nate went to help her settle in his room, leaving Dan and Blair behind in the kitchen. When he started cleaning, she got up and helped him.

"You don't have to do that" he said

"I want to" she simply answered, putting the plates in the sink.

They were putting away the clean dishes when she spoke again.

"I know I've said it before, but really, thank you, Dan."

"I didn't do anything" he answered making his way out the kitchen to look for Nate.

Blair followed him.

"You know what I mean" she said.

"Actually I don't, Blair" Dan said walking to Nate's room "I've learned that you never seem to say what you actually mean. Or mean what you actually say"

Blair didn't answer that. They stopped in front of Nate's room to see that he and Serena had fallen asleep on the bed.

"Should've seen that coming" Blair said. "Should we wake them up?"

"It's okay, you can sleep on my bed, I'll take the couch" Dan said. "Come on."

He led her to his room and when Blair stepped in, she felt like she was having a flashback. Books, everywhere. Papers, pens, dvds, cds. As usual, he hadn't done his bed. It wasn't his room in Brooklyn, but everything was indicating Blair that he had been the one living there.

"I have some books, if you want, and there is another blanket in the drawer. Have a good night"

He was swiftly making his way out of the room when she spoke.

"I meant thank you for accepting to help me" she said.

Dan turned to her and it encouraged her to take a step forward.

"I am such a mess. Thank you for not leaving me in that state."

Dan looked into her doe-eye, and took in her shy smile. The one he loved so much.

"Isn't that what we do?" he asked "You running to me for help, me fixing you before you go back to Chuck so he can burn you better."

Blair's smile disappearing is the last thing he saw before he closed the door.

That night, in his head, she is standing in front of a sink, holding a bottle of L'Occitane shampoo and he is letting something slip about orangutan in French documentaries.


	3. Chapter 3

**_I think I'm starting to see what I want to happen in this story. This chapter is kind of a transition chapter, so I'm not sure it's very interesting. I hope it will not disappoint. Just give me feeback, tell me how you feel about it. Bisous._**

* * *

Absolutely everything smelled like him. It wasn't surprising, since she was in his room, lying on his bed. What was surprising was that it was the same smell as two years ago. The smell of old books, sweat and cheap cologne.

Blair turned on the side to look at the time on the nightstand clock. It was only six in the morning. Nate wouldn't be up before four hours at least, and Serena slept much more since she was pregnant. But Blair knew Dan had always been the early bird type.

She used to tell him he had a problem, back when they were dating. She had found him numerous times wandering around the penthouse, waiting for her to get up. The fact that he seemed to completely ignore the concept of having a lie-in was irritating. So she would lure him back to bed by losing a piece of clothing here and there.

But all of that was in the past. If she were to get up and find him busy in the kitchen, she would only be allowed to nod politely and greet him. And because he was Dan, he would answer, out of manner; but that would be it.

Their relationship was certainly the most complex Blair had ever experienced. First they hated each other, because he didn't meet her Upper East Side standards and he found her shallow. Then they became civilized to one another, because they both loved Serena and they did attend the same college for a year. Then they became friends, but denied they were for a long, long time. By the time she was ready to admit it, she was engaged to another man.

She couldn't bear to reminisce the rest of the evolution of them. She knew she would eventually come to a point where it would become painful to remember. And she was the only one to blame for it.

The rain had stopped. Ever since she had arrived, Blair had only witnessed a stormy weather. But she could tell that day the sun was going to make an appearance. It didn't appease her. She heard the doorknob clicking and she stiffened. When the door opened slowly, with a slight creaked, she closed her eyes, pretending to sleep.

She knew it was Dan. She recognized the way his feet dragged on the wooden floor. Blair could tell he was trying to be quiet, so she kept feigning the slumber. She heard a fumbling of papers over at his desk, small items being moved around. Then loud bump and Dan swearing. Blair decided it was time to stop pretending. She sat on the bed and saw him bent over, the look on his face picturing his silent pain.

"It's okay" she said "I wasn't sleeping"

Dan lifted his eyes at her.

"I bumped my knee. I wasn't saying 'shit' because I was afraid of waking you up."

He rubbed his knee while Blair sighed.

"Of course, you weren't" she said, getting out of the bed.

Dan looked at her in her fancy silk babydoll. At first, he thought what he was seeing was due to the pain he was experiencing. Then he blamed it on the semi-darkness that was probably falsifying his sight. But Dan knew it was none of that. He had dated Blair for a while, and he still remembered exactly how she looked like two years ago.

"You gained" he couldn't help saying, amazed that he was only seeing it now.

Her hips, her stomach and her thighs were rounder. Her cheeks were more filled and even her breast seemed to have emphasized. Blair seemed shocked, probably not by the fact itself, but by the way Dan had stated it. She put her arms around her body, like she was embarrassed but looked at him defiantly.

"So what?" she asked defiantly. "I thought you didn't care for that sort of things."

Dan stood up straight "I don't. I just thought you did" he told her.

"Well, it seems like you don't really know me"

"At least we can both agree on that" Dan said. He turned around to pick up his notebook and his pencil on his desk and walked to the door. "I would offer you to come have breakfast with me, but…" he replaced the rest of his sentence by a wave toward her, toward her body. Then he left the room.

It was low. It was childish. He knew it. But at that moment, it felt good. It felt wrong too. Dan had never been the bullying type, and what he had just done was disgusting. He had probably hurt her in one of the most horrible way one could hurt Blair Waldorf. As he was making his way to the kitchen, he imagined her kneeling in front of a toilet, because of something he would have said. When had he become this type of person?

He sat at the kitchen table and opened his notebook. He was taking his pencil in hand when Blair stormed into the kitchen. She was looking at him with a disgusted face.

"You are such an asshole" she told him, despise in her voice.

At least they could both agree on that too.

"Leave me, alone, Blair" he said in a tired tone.

"You know, if you didn't want me here, you could have just said so"

"Come on, Blair. You know that I will pathetically always be there to help you. That's why you came here" Dan snapped

"What you just said wasn't helping me"

"What do you want me to do, Blair?" Dan's voice had gotten louder "Make you hot cocoa while we sit so I can explain to you what you should do before you can go back to Chuck?"

"I want you to forget whatever happened between us and to be there for me."

"You cannot be serious, Blair"

Dan was starting to get nervous; he did not want to fight with Blair. He needed to do something with his hands and writing wasn't an option at the moment. So he got up and went to fill a glass with water.

"Yes, Dan. I am serious. I am a selfish, egocentric bitch and even knowing what I've done to you I still expect you to be there for me. If that surprises you, then perhaps you really didn't know me at all."

Dan put down his glass without taking one sip from it and turned to her.

"No, Blair. I take back what I said. I know you. I know you damn well. I think that once again, you're the one who doesn't know who you are."

Blair didn't answer. He had told her that once before. They were looking at each other and broke the contact only because Serena was entering the kitchen, mumbling about being starved. She poured herself a glass of orange juice and sat at the table.

"I'm going to look for a doctor today" she said "I need to be followed; the baby is due at the end of the summer. Nate said he would come with me."

Serena could probably sense the lingering tension caused by their unfinished conversation, but she was looking at them like she hadn't seen nor heard anything.

"What are you guys waiting to make me breakfast?"

It was Blair's exit opportunity.

"What do you want, amour?" she asked Serena while opening the fridge.

While Serena started listing her desires, Dan took his notebook and went to Nate's room. He could have sworn he heard Blair sigh when he left the kitchen. Dan got inside Nate's room without knocking, finding him asleep. Dan hit him on the head with his notebook. Nate practically jumped out of his sleep.

"Serena? Are you okay?"

"She's fine, you moron. I can't say the same thing for you, though"

Nate blinked while looking sleepily at Dan who sat on the edge of the bed.

"Did you just hit me with your notebook?"

"You're going to the doctor with her? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"She can't go, alone, she doesn't know the island and she is almost eight months pregnant. What if something happens on the way? It's the responsible thing to do"

Dan didn't want to fight with Nate either, even when he was being such an idiot.

"No, Nate, the responsible thing for you to do was telling her _I _would go look for a doctor with her. Do you even realize what you're getting yourself into?"

"I'm fine, Dan. Besides, she's not the one you're supposed to be helping. While we're gone, it might give you time to sort things out with Blair."

"Mind your own business, will you?" Dan immediately regretted his tone. And apparently, so did Nate.

"Alright" he said, getting out of the bed. "Do whatever you want, I'm going to the doctor with Serena. And the next time you have one of those dreams, don't come and ask me what meaning it has. Because whatever the dream will be, the meaning will always be that you are a fucking coward who didn't even think of fighting for the girl he wanted. It was too convenient for you to crawl back into your gloomy hole and go tell everyone that you had once again gotten screwed over by those trust fund kids."

Nate slammed the door behind him, and Dan cursed himself. He hadn't fought with Nate in two years. It only took two women for everything to get messed up. Dan hated women. He went to his own room, on his bed but never opened his notebook. He hadn't slept well, the night before, too possessed with the idea of Blair in his bed. He remembered the first time she had fallen asleep in his bed in Brooklyn; she was engaged to another man, in love with a third one, and still, his bed had been the only place where she could forget that she was no longer a mother.

It's amazing the amount of beauty products Jenny left there. There is one for cleaning the face, and another one for after cleaning the face. One for the little red dots, one for God knows what. Dan doesn't understand women. What has become of the good old soap bar? He puts all of Jenny's stuff in a closet and goes on with removing every trace of his existence from the bathroom. He laughs when he pictures Blair encountering one of his already used razors.

When he gets out, she is sitting on his couch, her shoes are off. He loves seeing her sitting there, so casually, as if she felt like home, in his home.

She asks for his advice, and he tries to help her, because he is starting to think it's what he does best these days. They do pros and cons about the two men she can't seem to choose between, leaving him out of the equation. He is also starting to realize that unless he steps up, he'll probably never be an option. So he does, step up.

"It wouldn't to me" he says, but she doesn't hear what he wants her to hear. She hears what she wants to hear. What she will always find excuses to hear.

He goes out to buy some food, and when he gets back, she is crying again. He is sick of seeing her cry, so he decides to do what will make her happy. Because it is what he knows how to do best.

"Dan" Her voice didn't come from his dream, it was much clearer. Dan opened his eyes to find Blair standing next to his bed. Her hair was wet, she was obviously just getting out of the shower. "There is someone here, for you" she said.

It took Dan a little while to process, then when he saw her getting out of his room, he understood that he should follow.

"Where are Nate and Serena?" he asked, taking in how quiet the house was

"They went to look for a doctor, remember?" Blair's tone was sharp, and she was probably trying to show him that she was still pissed by their morning conversation.

They got to the living room together and Dan's heart skipped a beat. The tall blond girl, with the delicious cleavage and the very gifted mouth from the other night is standing there. Dan looked at Blair who was suspiciously eying the girl.

"Hi" the girl said, a bit shyly.

"Hi…"Dan replied, feeling like the biggest asshole.

She blushed a little because it was so obvious he didn't remember her name.

"Marla" she said and it didn't ring a bell in Dan's mind.

"Marla, right, sorry. I just woke up" he coughed in his fist "Hum, how…how have you been?"

"Good" she nodded "Thanks. I only came by because I think I left a toe ring here, the other night…"

Blair snorted at the words "toe-ring".

"It's a gift from my grandmother and I would've come pick it up sooner but there was the tropical storm and…"

"Oh yeah, sure" Dan said "Hum, do you know where you could've left it? We haven't cleaned the house since…"

He looked again at Blair who was now looking back at him. It felt so awkward.

"I think under the couch would be a good start" Marla said, almost dancing on her feet.

"Okay, well, let's do this"

The both moved toward to the couch to push it aside. Dan's body stiffened when he heard Blair ask:

"Will you stay for lunch, Marla? Our friends are going to be back soon and I have a chicken in the oven."

Marla's eyes went from the floor to Blair, then Dan "No thanks, my cousin is actually waiting for me" she said with a polite smile.

Dan almost screamed of happiness when he spotted the little silver ring on the carpet.

"There you go" he said, a little too hastily perhaps.

"Thank you" Marla whispered, obviously relieved. She took out a left shoe and Dan and Blair both watched as she slid the ring on one of her toes.

"I feel less naked" she laughed, the same wind chimes laugh as three nights before.

Blair offered her a fake understanding smile and rolled her eyes once Marla looked over at Dan.

"I've got an invitation for a private view tonight" she said "It's a local painter, but I hear he is getting very popular in Netherlands. My cousin isn't much of an art person so I was wondering if…maybe…"

"Oh…" Dan wasn't sure what to answer. He had no reasons to say no; he had had fun with her the other night and anything sounded better than staying in a house with Blair and Nate. Still, perhaps it was time for him to stop running from confrontation. "Sure" he said "Hum…how about we meet in front of the bar at 8?"

"Perfect" she said with a bright smile. "I'll see you there" she walked herself to the door and waved at Blair. "It was nice to meet you"

"Alright" Blair answered, the same fake smile plastered on her face.

The door closed behind Marla, leaving Dan and Blair in a heavy silence. Dan wanted to say something, he just didn't know what.

"Blair…"

"You don't have to explain yourself" Blair said, going to the kitchen.

Dan followed her "I wanna apologize, for what I said this morning. It was the anger talking I…"

"It's okay, Dan; I probably deserved it"

Blair bent down to check on the chicken through the oven glass.

"You did, but it doesn't make it right" Dan said, and Blair didn't answer. "Since when do you know how to cook?" he couldn't help asking.

"I've been spending a lot of time with my father ever since…anyway, he loves to cook and I didn't know how much I would until I tried it"

The mystery of the last two years of her life was getting clearer. She had been in France a lot, since she was with her father.

"I've thrown accusations at you" Dan said "But you never actually told us; were you with Chuck, all this time?"

Blair stood up and leaned against the kitchen counter, looking at him.

"Yes" she said.

"Then what happened?" Dan asked "Didn't you get what you wanted?"

"I wouldn't know where to start"

Dan thought about what he wanted to know. He didn't want to ask the big questions right away. _Why did you choose him? Why didn't you tell me? Have you ever loved me?_

"What's with the weight gain?" he asked.

Her breath itched. She wanted to be honest with him, because after everything, she owed him at least that. But being honest with him would bring her to be honest with herself, and she was not ready for that.

"Chuck had always been sure of his power of seduction over me. Until I walked out on him for you. I think he realized that it was actually possible for me to choose someone else"

She paused and Dan couldn't stand it.

"So?" he urged her.

"So, when I went back to him, I had to prove that it was him, and only him. It's stupid, really, but I thought that if I gained weight, other men wouldn't look at me and Chuck would be appeased."

Dan stood there in shock. There was no way what he just heard had come out of Blair Waldorf's mouth.

"Blair, do you realize what you're telling me?"

"I know" Blair's eyes had filled with water. "I was desperate, Dan. I was trying so hard to show him that I was there for him and he could only focus on getting back his company"

"And that was the only thing you found to show him?" Dan was astonished "Blair…I mean…why would you resolve to such an extreme mesure?"

"I loved him" she answered without flinching.

The words stung Dan's heart. Until he realized she had used the past tense. The front door opened and Serena came in, calling for Blair. When she arrived in the kitchen, she started blabbering about how a new doctor suited her. Nate followed but didn't grant Dan of a word, not even a look.

They all set the table and ate lunch together, listening to whatever Serena had to say. From time to time, Blair could feel Dan's glare on her.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Please don't hate me, guys. I just had a lot of logistical problems but here are two new chapters ! _**

**_For those of you who asked if I would be contuinuing it when season 6 starts to air, the answer is yes._**

**_I apologize for the wait, and also because this chapter is an non corrected version, probably full of grammar mistakes. But all the chapters are going to be soon replaced by better grammatical versions, so you know, you can go back and read them again._**

**_I hope those two chapters won't be disappointing, and that you guys are still with me. This chapter is kind of fluffy, but drama and angst kind of comes back in the next one. Anyway, tell me what you think, if you feel like the storyline doesn't make sense or something like that;_**

**_Love!_**

* * *

Blair sipped grumpily on her coffee, trying to evacuate the mood reflecting a bad night. Pregnant Serena was impossible to sleep next to, always moving around, and shoving her giant belly into Blair's side. Halfway through the night, she went to trade places with Nate, who happily obliged. It then occurred to Blair that Dan hadn't got home after his date. The couch looked untouched when Blair had made her way to the kitchen that morning.

She decided she didn't care. She actually didn't have the right to care, but still. Even if she could, she wouldn't; Dan Humphrey was nothing more than a friend to her right now. He didn't want to be anything else, and she didn't want him to be either. It was just the way it was. But, as a friend, she would probably have the right to point out that this Marla girl wasn't a real blonde. And that by judging her accent, she came from a very boring part of England. Like a town which population includes seventy-five percent of sheep.

Blair poured herself another cup of coffee. She was thinking about going on an early walk, because she hadn't left the house since they arrived, and the more she could avoid Dan, the better. She was still having a hard time about him knowing why she was a bit chubbier than two years before. Blair raised her hand to touch her cheek, that she knew to be still bruised. At least, Dan hadn't asked about that. Not yet.

The front door opened and closed. Blair held her breath, wondering if she still had time to go hide out in Nate's room. She didn't. Dan appeared in the kitchen, wearing the previous day's outfit. He seemed surprised to see her there, but he didn't ask questions. He just nodded, and went to pour himself a glass of water. Blair couldn't handle the silence between them.

She cleared her throat "How was the exhibit?" she asked, looking down to her coffee.

"Good, thanks. Really interesting" Dan answered

"I bet" Blair couldn't help whispering.

"What?"

"I said 'good for you'" Blair said louder, looking at him and giving him a crisped smile.

"How come you are up so early?" Dan asked

"I didn't sleep really well last night" Blair simply said "There's coffee if you want"

"I'm good, thanks. I actually could use some sleep, myself"

Blair looked at him while he seemed to be regretting his last sentence "It's fine, Dan" she said "You don't owe me any explanation"

"I didn't say I did. It's just, you know, out of respect. We're not best buddies, you don't need to hear about stuff like that."

Blair was starting to get annoyed. How long were they going to discuss his crazy sex night with fake-blonde-British-peasant? She opened her mouth to change the subject, but she was interrupted by a noise, coming from the bedrooms. Dan's body straightened up, his brows furrowed.

"Did you hear that?" he asked.

"I did. What was it?"

They both went silent, waiting to see if they were hearing it again. Soon enough, another one rang through the house; then another. By the third one, Dan and Blair both had to acknowledge that the noises were actually moans, and that Serena was the one making them.

"What the…?" Dan started, but just like Blair earlier, he was interrupted. Unlike Blair, it wasn't by a moan but a loud groan.

Dan and Blair looked at each other, some sort of shock painted over their faces.

"Are they…?" Dan asked

"I think so" Blair answered.

"Are you kidding me?" Dan said, putting his hands on his hips. "Are they crazy?"

"Well, it's not that surprising. It's Nate and Serena here"

"Pregnant Serena! I mean, what is Nate thinking?"

"I knew it would happen, eventually" Blair said "I just didn't think it would happen that soon"

Dan shook his head, mumbling to himself something that Blair couldn't hear.

"I'm going to bed" he then said, starting to walk out of the kitchen.

"Well, they're in your bed" Blair said.

Dan's body turned round sharply.

"You have GOT to be kidding!" he exploded

"Sssh! They're going to hear you!" Blair hissed.

"Well, they don't seem to mind us hearing them. Fuck, Nate and I have taken too much liberty with each other."

"Just, go sleep on his bed, Dan" Blair rolled her eyes. She went to put her mug in the sink, then walked past him "I'm going to take a shower"

Dan obeyed, walking to Nate's room, unable to restrain from putting his hands over his hears. He undressed himself before going to bed, and thought about the previous night. He had had fun again, and Marla's mouth had been even more gifted than he had remembered. He sighed, thinking that at least, both he and Nate were getting some.

Dan feels dizzy. Not even dizzy, no. He knows that he is standing straight. It's the world that is moving around him. But Blair clinging on his arm doesn't help his situation, so he has to lean a bit against the wall. There is only one thing he wants to do, and it's sitting down. But they have to wait to get to the penthouse, and unfortunately, this elevator is so slow. It feels like it's not even moving.

Blair seems to be on the same wavelength and when they realize they didn't push the button, Dan is amazed by how drunk Blair might just be. He had smelled it on her, but now he is seeing the effect.

Blair pleads guilty, but only before accusing him of being in the same state.

"And I can tell by the fact that you're not hyper-verbal, as usual, that you are avoiding something"

"And I can tell by the fact that you drank vodka that you are too"

Alright, so they know each other well enough to understand those little things; if only knowing each other that well had guided them earlier that day, when they were trying to get to another level in their relationship. Dan is confused, and he doesn't understand why it would suck that bad. Because he had wanted to make love to Blair so bad in the past month, and he had always imagined the moment to be so much more…_intimate_.

And he doesn't mean to boast, but he managed to satisfy Serena Van der Woodsen for more than a year, so the problem must be Blair. It's disappointing, really, because she had been really, really good in his head.

Blair claims she is as good out of his head, and she is determined to show him. Dan doesn't mind. They take off each other's coat, and Dan is empowered by alcohol and desire. He can't seem to stop kissing her, and when she does this little movement of her tongue against his, he can't bear it anymore. His arms swing under her ass, she smiles as he lifts her and the little yelp she does when he pushes her a little bit harshly against the wall is deliciously high pitched. She straddles him with her thighs and Dan can feel the heat radiating from her body. She unbuttons his shirt, while he makes sure to hit the right spot on her neck with his tongue. Then when her fingers reach his pants, Dan finds himself growing a bit harder.

At that moment, he can't help thinking "_Blair Waldorf is unzipping my pants in an elevator_"

"Wow, that's embarrassing"

The low-pitched voice jarred him awake. Dan sat up in the bed, trying to focus on what disturbed his dream. Nate was standing there, looking at him. Dan looked back, wondering what Nate wanted. Then Nate pointed toward his own crotch, which made Dan look down.

He made his best not to blush, because the hard-on he was sporting was embarrassing enough. Dan rolled around to lie on his stomach, burying his face in the pillow.

"Go away" he told Nate.

"So I can leave you jerking off in my bed? No, Sir"

"You're joking right?" Dan turned back to face him "Dude, the only reason I'm here is because_ you were having sex in my bed!_"

"Okay, first of all, it's not the same. I, my friend, was making love"

Dan closed his eyes, groaning "You did not just say that."

"I did. Second of all, let's talk about the elephant in the room" Nate sighed and sat at the end of the bed. "Were you having a sex dream about me?"

"What? Are you crazy?"

"Well, you are in my bed and…"

"I was not having a sex dream about you, Nate."

"Oh. Good, then."

Dan couldn't help laughing a little. His friend was crazy.

"Listen, Nate. You do realize that this morning, you crossed a line that you can never come back from?" Dan asked, more seriously.

"I don't want to come back from it" Nate said, with great confidence in his voice. "Serena will need someone to go through the pregnancy and all that comes after with her. And I want to be that person."

"Are you sure? I mean, we are talking about a baby. You remember me with Milo, the struggle it was, at first?"

Nate nodded "I do remember. I remember the satisfaction on your face the first time you managed to get him to sleep. Or the first time you gave him a bottle. Dan, Serena and I talked about it. I want to do this. I think it could be one of the best things that's ever happened to me."

"But, Nate, don't you think this is all going a bit too fast?"

It made Nate laugh "Dan, as much as I enjoyed the two last years of partying, and everything we've done together, I kinda got tired of it. I have acutally been waiting for something to come and change all that; and it did. I am ready for it, Dan."

Dan had rarely seen Nate so confident. He seemed to be on a high cloud, yet ready for the reality of what was about to happen.

"Then, man, I support you" Dan said "And if you ever need anything…"

"Thanks, man"

The room was filled with a bit of emotion, as the two of them got lost in their own thoughts.

"Hey can I ask you something?" Dan asked.

Nate turned to him, grinning "Yes, sex with a pregnant woman is awesome!"

Dan laughed, amazed that Nate had read into his mind that well.

"How did you do it, though?" he asked "I mean, her stomach is gigantic"

"Oh, Serena was giving me the instructions on the positions. But, dude, her sensations are multiplied by a thousand, it's like I couldn't do anything wrong!"

"Is it true what they say about the baby afterwards?"

"Yep" Nate nodded "Kicking like it has a soccer ball in there"

"Amazing" Dan said.

They were both laughing and smiling. Dan was glad they had gotten past their dispute of the previous day. He couldn't stand not being able to talk to Nate like that. He was at that moment, admiring his friend. Nate had promised to help Serena, and he engaged to do it in the best way possible. The riskiest, too, but still the best.

"And Dan" Nate got up from the bed "Serena and I took this decision after talking for like two hours. Talking about our feelings and stuff, it's always been what Serena and I have been best at."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And I know that you used to have the same relationship with someone so…"

Dan didn't answer, but thought about Nate's suggestion.

"I'm talking about Blair" Nate said

"I know who you are talking about, moron"

"Okay" Nate held up his hands in sign of defense. "Come on, I came to tell you that lunch is ready"

Dan went to take a shower before joining the others in the kitchen. In the bathroom, he thought about his dream, and how vivid it had been. It wasn't the first time he had dreamt of the elevator, but this time was different. He would actually have to face Blair afterwards. He didn't know how he would stop his eyes from wandering on her body. Dan was wondering how the changes of her body would feel against his. Dan didn't mind chubby. Dan liked chubby. It gave him more flesh to kiss and more to grab, and more to rub against. He wondered how much more her breasts would feel his hands now. Then he resigned to stop thinking about it, unless he had time for another shower; cold this time.

Dan was a bit afraid to be witnessing Nate and Serena's relationship evolution, while sitting alone facing Blair. But Nate and Serena behaved surprisingly well. It's like nothing had changed between them, except for a thank you kiss Serena gave Nate when he took care of putting aside the pickles in the meal for her.

But it was still a bit awkward to be sitting in the same room as Blair, even though he was planning on doing soon more than that. That was the reason why when Nate suggested they all went for a digesting walk, Dan dared to speak up.

"Actually, why don't you and Serena go?" he said "I need to talk to Blair."

Blair looked at him, surprised, while Serena and Nate exchanged a confused glance.

"Hum…sure" Nate said.

He and Serena went to get ready, while Dan and Blair started on the dishes. Right before they left, Serena went to kiss Blair on the temple, and Dan heard her whisper "I have my cellphone".

Then Serena turned to Dan, giving him the warning look. When Dan heard the door close he turned off the tap, then took Blair's hand to lead her and make her sit with him at the kitchen table.

"Alright, Blair. Talk to me"

Blair looked at him, confused by how forward he was being.

"What is there to say?" she asked.

"I already know about how desperate you were to prove Chuck that he was the only one that mattered." Dan didn't point out how stupid her plan was, because he was certain she already knew it and he didn't want to remember that her plan had recently given him strong fantasies material. "Now I want you to tell me two things. First I want you to explain the bruise"

Blair had been right, he had planned to talk to her about it. She cleared her throat.

"It's kind of a long, complicated story"

"I've got all afternoon, Blair" Dan said firmly.

"Right. Okay. About six months ago, it became kind of clear that even though Chuck was glad to have me around him, it stopped there. He was still focused on his company, and our interactions were becoming rare. Then around that time, I started to have nightmares."

Dan could see she was hesitating telling more.

"What kind of nightmares?" Dan urged.

"It was about people I know…dying…kind of."

Dan couldn't help the look of horror coming on his face.

"This is…weird, Blair."

"I know, Dan" Blair rolled her eyes "But the thing is, in each of those dreams, I was reading about their death in the obituary, and I was realizing that I hadn't heard of it sooner because I was cast away with Chuck and his stupid company. So I hired three private investigators to tell me what you, Nate and Serena had been doing for the past two years. That's how I knew that Serena was in Brussels, pregnant, and that you and Nate were vacationing here."

"It does not explain the bruise, Blair"

"For the love of God, Humphrey, stop pressuring me, I'm getting there; you're a writer, you should recognize a good build-up"

"I can. And this isn't one." Dan said

Blair bit the inside of her lips "Fine. Chuck hit me. Are you happy?"

"What?" Dan doesn't know if it's shock or anger that he is feeling. Probably both. "Blair, tell me it's a joke."

"It's not" Blair says, looking him in the eyes.

Dan inhaled and exhaled loudly. He was having a hard time registering what Blair had just told him.

"Blair. Chuck might not be my favorite person in the world, but there was a time when we managed to be sort of friends and…I just…I can't imagine him…"

"Well he did" Blair said "But to his defense, I had just broken a Baccarat vase over his head."

"What?" Dan's voice went into the high tones "Blair, I'm not following here"

"Well, who needs a build-up now?" Blair asked, with a trace of smug smile.

"Blair. Tell me what really happened. Now" Dan was being firm, and it made Blair shiver. She wasn't used to this Dan.

"It happened after I had a dream about you dying" she said "To be honest, it made me cry in my sleep and it made me cry when I woke up. I went to hide in the bathroom and Chuck pressured me to get out and tell him what was going on. I exploded. I couldn't take it anymore. So I got out and I told him everything that I felt. That I was sick trying to move mountains for him, while he just sat there doing nothing. That I wanted to be on my own from now on. I don't know how, he figured out that it was about you. He said that you would not even want to see my face again, and I disagreed. I told him that you once said you would always be there for me and that I believed it. So he laughed at my face and called me an idiot. At that moment I wanted to show him that he wasn't the only one who could misbehave under the anger. I grabbed the first thing I could, which happened to be a vase, and I smashed it over his head. Right before he passed out, he pushed me against the wall and I hit my cheek"

Blair stopped talking, watching Dan's reaction. He was looking at her, his brows furrowed. They didn't talk for a bit.

"Do you now realize how sick is the influence that you and Chuck exerce on each other?" Dan finally asked.

"I do" Blair nodded "That's why I took my notebook, my credit card and I called an ambulance to come get Chuck. Then I went to the airport in pajamas and booked the first plane to Brussels. I don't want to see him; I don't want to hear about him. I just want to take control of my life again."

Dan nodded and Blair forced a smile on her face.

"What else did you want to know?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter. We can talk about it later." Dan didn't want to make her talk more. He knew that telling him the story she just did had probably not been easy.

"It's okay, Dan. I can take it" she said, nevertheless.

Dan hesitated, but he still wanted to know "The first thing you told me when you arrived here was 'I was wrong'. What did you mean?" he asked.

"I meant that I had been wrong to think that the sentiment of passion could not match the sentiment of safety" Blair answered right away. It was something that she had kept telling herself every night since she had taken a plane to Brussels.

She hadn't realized how emotional this conversation had gotten, and she couldn't stop the tears that rolled on her cheek.

"I am so sorry, Dan. For everything" her voice broke as she was talking.

Dan's heart sunk. He knew he had a thousand reasons to be still mad at her, but who was he to refuse her penitent? He left his seat to squat in front of her. Then he took her by the back of her neck to bring their foreheads together.

"Blair, stop crying" he whispered. "It's going to be okay, you hear me? We're going to get you back on track and you're going to take back the control of your life"

Blair didn't say anything, just sobbed a little more. Dan wiped one of her tears with his thumb, then took her by the hands to make her get up with him.

"Blair, look at me" he said and she easily obliged, much to his surprise. He was then empowered by the trust he could see in her eyes "Do you remember what I used to repeat to you, when we were dating?"

Blair nodded.

"Say it" Dan commanded. Because she was hesitating, he started "You are fiercely…"

"Strong" Blair mumbled

"And…"

"Independent"

"And…"

"Capable of anything"

"Alright. And beautiful too" Dan precised.

Blair rolled her eyes, sniffing "Well, not right now" she scoffed.

Dan laughed lightly "I was never talking about that kind of beauty, Blair."

"Of course you weren't, Dan Humphrey." Blair sighed "Thank you" she said.

"Blair, we can't erase what happened between us. But we have the guarantee that everything we lived was sincere. And you were right to believe me when I said that I would always be there for you"

"I know I was" Blair whispered, looking down at her hands still in his. Dan followed her glare and he instantly released her.

He coughed a little in his fist "Tomorrow, we are going to go downtown shopping. Then we'll go to the Kura Hulanda Museum. We're gonna find our Original Gangsta Blair"

There had always been something funny about hearing her name and the world "gansgta" in the same sentence, and Blair could not contain a burst of laughter.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Again, don't forget to tell me how you feel and again, sorry for the mistakes._**

* * *

Dan was well aware that he had not written in two days. He didn't like the idea, but didn't mind it that much in the end. Forcing the inspiration out of him was not his priority, at that time, on that particular day. What he actually wanted the most was finding a way out of the engagement he had taken.

His legs and his back hurt. They had been walking for way too long and it was inhuman that Blair was still standing straight wearing those heels.

Dan cleared his throat, but his attempt of being noticed failed miserably. He did it again, a bit louder that time. Blair's eyes did not leave the jewelry she was examining, but she did talk to him.

"Do that again, and we'll be stopping at Louis Vuitton, next."

"Blair. Aren't you hungry?"

"I don't have time to eat, Humphrey. Shopping is my way of taking back the control; reconnecting with my true self" Her eyes left the jade necklace, and she turned to him "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I did" Dan said "I don't anymore."

"I appreciate your support" Blair snorted

"You should. How many of your shopping bags am I carrying, right now?"

"Please" Blair rolled her eyes "Dorota used to carry twice of this amount. And she never complained"

Dan bit down his retort, because Blair had brought up a much more interesting subject than a fight.

"What happened to Dorota?" Dan asked.

Blair sighed, and started walking again, obliging Dan to follow her.

"I never renewed her contract after I left New York. She got hired by Penelope's family"

Blair's lips were pursed and Dan could see she had a hard time swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Come on" she said "Let's go eat"

They went to the nearest restaurant, because Dan could not walk anymore. They took seat at the terrace and Blair remained silent until the waiter came to ask their order. She ordered just a salad and lemonade. Dan ordered a cote de boeuf, with the intention of making her eat in his meal. Since their talk, Blair had decided to go on a diet. Dan had tried to talk her out of it; he had tried to prove her that she did not need to change her physical appearance to be herself again.

But it was not the first time Blair would not take any of his advice.

"Dan!"

They both turned to the right to see Marla standing at the entrance of the restaurant, with a very tall blonde man by her side. Blair watched with her lips pressed tight as Dan stood up and met Marla halfway, pressing a kiss on her lips.

"Dan, I want you to meet George. He's my cousin" Marla said, a hand on Dan's hip and the other on George's shoulder. "George, this is Dan. I've told you about him"

"You're the writer" George said, shaking Dan's hand. He looked over at their table and noticed Blair. "And this is…?" he asked.

"Oh" It was as if Dan had just remembered her existence; he coughed awkwardly "This is Blair. She is my…she's an old friend. Sort of"

"Hi, Blair" Marla said brightly.

George walked over to their table and held his hand for Blair to shake it "Hi. George Helms"

"Blair Waldorf"

George's eyebrows flew up.

"Blair Waldorf? As in Blair Waldorf-Bass?"

Blair's heart skipped a beat, and so did Dan's. She forced herself not to look at him while she cleared her throat, trying to conceal any trace of embarassment.

"As in Blair Waldorf" she said dryly, taking her hand back.

George probably sensed her coldness because he gave a slight apologizing nod.

"I'm sorry. I sometimes work with Charles and Jack and I thought…"

Blair didn't have time to listen to him. Dan had left Marla's side and was walking back toward her. Blair quickly got up, picking up the shopping bags with her.

"Why don't we go back to the house?" she said

"Blair…" Dan started with a firm voice

"I'll cook lunch for all of us" Blair ignored him. She looked at Marla and George. "How does it sound?"

"Well if we're not bothering..." Marla said

"Don't be silly, Marla" Blair offered her the best fake smile she could feature. "Any friend of Dan is a friend of mine. Come on."

They all followed her out of the restaurant, and Blair walked a quick step ahead of the three of them on the way back to the house. She could hear Dan trying to concede that something was going on by making small talk with Marla. She could also feel his burning glare on her back.

As soon as they got inside, she dropped the shopping bags in the living room, and made her way to the bedrooms. She knocked on Nate's door, taping nervously her heel on the wooden floor.

Nate opened, smiled when he saw her.

"Serena is taking a nap. How was shopping?"

"We came back with some friends of Dan" Blair said, her voice shaky. "Marla, and her cousin George"

"Marla?"

"The girl he went on a date with the other night?"

"Oh yeah, the girl who gives awesome blowjobs" Nate nodded.

Blair's eyes widened in indignation. Nate on the other hand, did not seem to see anything wrong with what he had just said.

"I'm going to join you guys, then" Nate said, getting out of the room.

"You go. I have to talk to Serena."

Blair pushed him out, and made her way inside the room.

"But Serena is…"

Blair closed the door to his face. The bang woke up Serena, who stirred on the bed, her eyes fluttering open.

"Blair?"

Blair kicked off her heels, then hopped on the bed next to Serena.

"Dan knows" she said, her breath short.

"Knows about what?" Serena asked in a sleepy voice.

"About me and Chuck being…you know"

Serena opened her eyes, as if what Blair had just told her had finished waking her up.

"Oh wow. Okay. What did he say?"

"Nothing yet. We ran into that girl he's dating, and her cousin is one of Chuck's partners. He recognized me. I mean, he recognized my name."

"And then what happened?"

"I invited them to lunch" Blair mumbled.

Serena didn't talk for a few minutes.

"Blair" she then said "I think that your logic differs with the one of the entire human race"

"I know ! I don't understand myself, Serena. What should I do?"

Serena struggled to sit up, but she eventually managed to get herself close enough to hug Blair. "Don't worry, sweetie. It's going to be fine. Dan has never been the one for public scandals, it was actually really smart of you to bring those two people here. At least it'll give you time to figure out how to explain everything to him."

"He's going to think I'm an idiot"

"I won't let him. I'll punch him. With my stomach."

Blair did break a little laugh, and Serena smiled.

"Come on" she said "I wanna see the girl with the very gifted mouth"

She dragged Blair off the bed with her, and they went together to the living room, finding Nate, Dan and the two guests sitting there. Each had a glass of wine in their hands. As soon as Dan saw Blair, his eyes never left hers. Nate stood up and went to pass an arm around Serena's shoulders.

"George, Marla, this is my girlfriend, Serena"

"Wow, congratulations" Marla said, her eyes on Serena's stomach. "How far along are you?"

"About seven months and a half" Serena said, always happy to get attention.

"Do you know if it'll be a boy or a girl?"

"We don't know yet" Nate said "But we can't wait to discover." He turned to Serena with a smile and kissed her on the lips.

Blair and Dan both groaned in disgust.

"I'm going to get started on the lunch" Blair said, making her way to the kitchen.

"Wait, for me. Marla, why don't you come with us?"

Blair barely restrained from hitting Serena. The girls went to the kitchen, while Nate placed his finest bottle of rum on the table for the guys.

"Shouldn't we go to help them?" George asked, looking toward the kitchen.

"Naah, they're women, they'll figure it out" Nate waved George's question away.

"We heard that!" Blair's voice rang out from the kitchen.

"So, George, is it?" Nate asked while starting to roll a joint "What do you do?"

"George is actually one of your friend's Chuck Bass partners" Dan said loud enough so Blair would hear that too.

There was a small fumbling in the kitchen, and they could hear Serena whisper furiously "Blair, stay here and cut those potatoes!"

"Oh really?" Nate lit his joint, and took a drag from it with a lazy smile "This is going to be a very interesting lunch"

"Why do I feel like the name Bass should be banned from your group?" George asked, looking from Dan to Nate.

"You shouldn't feel that way" Nate said, passing him the joint which he refused "Chuck is actually one of my oldest friend. I haven't heard much from him lately, though"

George nodded. Dan took the joint from Nate.

"And how long have you both known Blair for?"

"Also one of my oldest friend" Nate said

Dan didn't answer.

"Do you know if she and Chuck Bass have been divorced for long? She's very attractive and things have been getting a little dull around here, to be honest"

The tension increased in a few seconds. Judging on Nate's browned frows and his tense jaw, he didn't know about Blair and Chuck being married. Dan's chest was heavy and Nate gave him a quick glance before answering coldly,

"Blair is my ex-girlfriend"

George seemed taken aback for a bit, and then gave another understanding nod.

The tension didn't dissipate until the girls came back and the blabbering of Marla and Serena invaded the room. Blair did not talk more than necessary, but she looked at Dan from time to time, finding him looking at her. In his eyes, she could detect something, but she could not perceive exactly what. It was too soft to be anger, too confused to be disappointment. The only thing she could perceive was that she would have to pay the consequences of her omission.

When lunch was ready, they all set the table in the dining-room. Marla took a seat next to Dan, putting a teasing hand on his lap. He did not give it too much attention, trying not to care too much about George taking place next to Blair.

He did not know if it was jealousy he was feeling; but the fact that Nate seemed to be as annoyed as him comforted him. They were just both looking out for Blair.

When they were done eating, they moved to the living room to chat and digest. George sat next to Blair on the couch, and Marla decided to settle for Dan's laps. Then, Serena fell asleep on Nate's shoulder, and Marla took this as their cue to leave. Dan was relieved. He did not appreciate the way George was looking at Blair. And Blair, very well aware of the attention directed at her, played with it. She would laugh at whatever he was saying, and sometimes even put a hand on his arm.

While Nate helped Serena getting to bed, Marla and George said goodbye. Marla kissed Dan on the mouth, and George placed a kiss on the back of Blair's hand. Nate came back just when they were walking out.

"Alright" he said "Now that we are alone, we need to talk"

Blair and Dan turned to him, waiting for what he had to say.

"Blair, how could you never think that you being married to Chuck would be worth mentioning?"

"Nate, it's complicated" Blair replied, shaking her head.

"Everything is always complicated with you, Blair." Nate said "We want to help you, we do. But you have to start trusting us. We are not pawns in your life, we are your friends, Dan and I."

Dan didn't say anything. The accusation coming from Nate was unusual, but it somehow made it more legitimate. Nate had always been the neutral one. However, that day, he was getting out of this zone to put everything back into place. That was the moment when Dan realized that he didn't need to worry for his friend. Nate was going to be fine.

"So, today, we are making a pact" Nate went on "No more secrets. Agreed?"

He looked from Dan to Blair with authority. They both nodded.

"Good. Now I am going to lay next to my girlfriend, and rest. You two can go back to Blair's soul searching.

He left them there, in a silence that was threatening to submerge the two of them.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it" Blair said with a low voice. "I just didn't want you to think that I was…"

"Pathetic?"

Blair held her breath hearing his word. But she nodded.

"I don't have the strength to fight you on your life decisions, Blair" Dan said "I promised to help you, and I don't think that being judged is what you need right now."

"But you'll still do it, silently."

"Perhaps" Dan put a tired hand against his forehead. "I have to go"

He went to lock himself up in his room. He sat behind his desk, and started to write. He need to start something new, didn't care for his current work anymore. Again, writing would be his salvation, his last resort before his feelings would take over his entire being.

As if the weather had felt his mood, it started raining again sometime in the afternoon. It empowered his inspiration, and Dan wrote, erased, scratched, corrected, and wrote again. He didn't answer when Serena knocked on his door for dinner.

He only stopped when his phone rang on his desk. He wasn't planning on answering, then he saw the name tag and instantly dropped his pencil to push the answer button.

"What is going on, are you okay?" he asked, his breath short.

"Jesus, would you relax?" Jenny's amused voice sounded comforting in his hear. There was the echo of a loud music in the background. She was probably at a nightclub, and she was probably drunk.

"Well you never call. So yes, I was worried." Dan said "How is Prague?"

"Fine. Good. I met someone"

"Do I want to hear about him?" Dan asked, already not liking his sister's new boyfriend.

"Her name is Alexandra. But people call her Sasha."

"…Oh" he said, even though he knew Jenny wasn't actually waiting for his reaction.

"Yep. But that's not why I called. Why isn't Dad answering his phone?"

"Hum, it's Wednesday, and he usually only picks up on weekends. You would know if you called more often."

Jenny didn't talk for a few minutes, but Dan could hear her breathe heavily on the other end.

"I'm going to New York" she then said.

"No you're not"

"Yes, Dan. I'm going there, and I'm going to bang Lily's head against every fucking Manhattan building owned by her fucking husband"

"No, you're not" Dan said "You gotta let go, Jenny."

But he knew she would never be able to. He, himself, had had a hard time witnessing his father's downfall after his marriage's annulment.

"I hate what those people did to him." Jenny said, and it seemed like her throat was tight "I hate what they did to me, and to you. To our whole family"

Dan didn't reply, because he knew it was alcoholic anger talking. She needed to pour it away and he wanted to be there so she could. Otherwise, he was afraid of finding Lily's brain against a wall.

"I hate them so fucking much. Always acting like they are so much better than us; it's like they don't even understand the concept of love."

"At least, you managed to get away from it. You should be proud of you, Jen"

"You can get away from it, too. Come to Europe with me. You can write anywhere, right?"

"I can't, Jenny"

"You won't"

Again Dan remained silent. He did not want to fight with his sister.

"I'm going to New York" she repeated, firmly "I'm going to see Dad. Perhaps take care of him."

"He'll be happy to see you, I'm sure" Dan said, relieved that she had dropped her murder plans.

"Alright. I have a glass of vodka coming my way. Gotta go."

She hung up before Dan could say anything else. It was late, it was still raining, and now that he had been interrupted, he was hungry. He got out of his room, carefully made his way to the kitchen. When he passed in the living room, he found Blair sitting on the couch, watching through the glass doors the rain pour over the ocean on the horizon.

"Blair? You're not asleep?"

"I can't" she simply replied, never tearing her eyes away from her noctambule show.

"Why not?"

"Too much noise. Brings back bad memories. And it allows bad dreams." She was talking in a really smooth and slow voice.

Dan didn't push it further; he felt that she wanted to be alone. So he went to the kitchen to drink a glass of milk. He didn't talk to Blair on his way back to his room. She was still in the same position as he had found her earlier.

He knew Blair didn't like the rain, let alone storms. As he prepared himself to go to bed, he thought about what she had told him. He wondered if Blair had had one of her nightmares since she had arrived in Curacao. Followed an internal fight, between his mind and his heart.

_Don't do this._

But she needed him.

_You're already doing more than necessary._

What if it turned out not to be enough?

_Stop finding excuses. Be reasonable. Be strong._

Dan decided that he didn't give a fuck what whoever was living in his head was saying. He went back to the living room.

"Blair" he said "Come with me"

_You wuss. You weak little piece of shit._

Blair turned to him, looking at him and wondering if she had heard right. Dan held out his hand toward her as a reformulation of his offer. Blair stood up. This hand represented so much more, at the moment, than a safety resort. It represented friendship, trust, and some sort of love.

She took it and they went together to Dan's room. The lied next to each other, and Blair naturally rested her forehead against his chest. Her knees touched one of his shyly, and Dan's body reacted like an old mechanism. He intertwined their legs together and put a hand on her back. It was their favorite and usual position to sleep in when they were dating. Dan had relived that kind of moments numerous times, in his memories, in his sleep, persuaded that it was all that was left of them. Yet, there she was, in his bed, two years later, and the changes of her body didn't change how well it imbricated in his.

Having her next to him this way was probably the reason why he didn't dream at all that night.

* * *

_**Heeey guys :) guess what you get in the next chapter? It starts with S and ends with mut. **_

_**thanks for reading**_

_**xo**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hi lovelies. So this is actually two chapters but they go together so I published them as one. I worked extremely hard on this one, because it's a turning point in Dan and Blair's storyline. So tell me how you feel about that. **_

_**Also, I'm putting a little note at the end that I would like you to read. Apart from that, enjoy.**_

* * *

Dan woke up, but didn't open his eyes right away. Why would he start his day, wandering around, looking for he did not even know what, when he could have all he wanted right there, on his bed, in his arms? Because, yes, waking up next to Blair had made him realized that she still was all he wanted. He knew, however, that he would never be enough for her. That was the reason he was refusing to get up. As long as she was asleep, he could imagine that things were different, he could build himself a glimpse of a different life, a life where he would have been enough.

In this life, they would probably be engaged by now. Perhaps even married. He would still be a writer, perhaps a failed one, but who cares? She would be smiling every day, because he would always make sure she did. He would be the only one for her, and she would be the only one for him, and they wouldn't need Serena, or Nate, or their families to be happy. Dan thinks harder. Well, perhaps Nate, yes. This guy had gotten under his skin.

"Open your eyes. I know you're awake"

Blair's soft voice didn't break his daydream, only gave it more content. In the life Dan was thinking of, that would be how they would wake up every morning. With a sentiment of completion, and her voice telling him all the things he had dreamed of telling her.

However he lifted his eyelids, blinked a bit to adjust his sight to the daylight rendered gray by the rain outside. Then he was able to see her. She was looking at him, as sleepily as he did.

"Good morning" she whispered.

"Good morning" Dan answered.

They looked at each other, and Blair broke the contact when she closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his. A part of his body he was only aware of when he was with her. He held her tighter against him, causing their noses to touch. His breathing got heavy, while hers stayed exactly the same, and it only showed to Dan how much more he was affected by her than she was by him. Still, he felt her moving her head hesitantly, pushing it more into the pillow so she could tilt it to the side. So Dan did the same on the opposite direction. They were in position. The only thing left for them to do was to kiss.

Their lips touched for a brief moment, but it felt more comfortable that Dan would have thought. As if they had never stopped doing it. Then Dan kissed her again, and this time it was longer and Blair's lips even moved against his.

But then she pulled away, her eyes still closed, one hand on his chest and she breathed out a sigh.

"How did you sleep?" she asked

"Good. How did you sleep?"

"Very well, I must say. Your bed is very comfortable"

Dan smiled a little. The moment felt perfect. He liked having her in his arms, he liked living in this bubble as everything was still silent, except for the rain pouring and splashing against the windows. Blair's hand moved from his chest to the back of his neck, and she pulled him in for another kiss.

Dan decided that he would not let her get away this time, so he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her body against his. He let the air out by his nose when he felt her tongue brush against his lips, and showed her he got the message by opening his mouth under hers. As the kiss grew deeper, and the velvety sensation of their tongues brushing gave them both chills, Dan's hand lowered over her body to bring her leg that was until then resting between his over his hips.

Her body was so warm, and the cover sheet started to feel heavy. Dan pushed them aside with his feet, and Blair did the same. Then his hand went back up, but slowly snaking under her slip this time. He felt Blair starting to move back, and he rapidly flew his hand on her hip to grab her and maintain her in the position. He knew she was feeling self-conscious about how her body changed, and he was determined to show her that he didn't mind. It was actually, quite the contrary.

When he pushed his hips forward and their lower bodies met, she moaned into his mouth and it brought Dan back to reality.

"Wait" he whispered, pulling away. He lied on his back and his hands left her body "We can't do this"

Blair looked at him. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling and his chest lifting and falling in a rapid breathing.

"I'm sorry" she said.

"It's not your fault. I mean, not completely. We just…can't"

Blair nodded, and suddenly felt her throat grow tight. This brief moment with Dan had made her feel more complete that she had for a while, and just watching it slipping away hurt.

"Can you at least take me back in your arms?" she asked.

Dan's head turned toward her, and Blair was certain he was going to refuse. But he brought his body closer to her, and wrapped his arms around her again. Blair tried not to hold him too tight, but she had a hard time. How could he never refuse to make her feel better? She was not sure anyone had ever been this good to her in her life. It brought tears to the corner of her eyes.

They laid there for what seemed like hours, both looking up to the ceiling, both wondering what the other was thinking. Then the door of Dan's room opened, and they didn't have the time to move that Serena was already stepping inside.

"Good, you're here" she said as she saw Blair. She did not make any comments about their position, but showed Blair to move aside so she could herself lie on the bed next to her. Then Nate appeared, his eyes barely opened.

"She woke me up" he groaned.

He walked to the other side of the bed and let his whole body fall next to Dan's, closing his eyes.

"But the baby started kicking and it woke me up, and now I'm bored" Serena whined, starting to play with Blair's hair.

Blair and Dan looked at each other, both asking the other with their eyes if they were dreaming.

"Let's go have breakfast" Serena said. She reached over Dan and Blair to hit Nate on the head "Wake up, and go make me scrambled eggs. With lots of bacon"

Nate groaned and pushed himself off the bed with obvious difficulty.

"You'll be the death of me" he said, walking toward the door, and Serena left the bed, taking his hand on the way. The got out of the room, leaving the door opened behind them.

Dan and Blair were still looking at each other confusingly.

"What just happened?" Blair asked

Dan was going to answer, but he was cut by Serena's voice.

"Oh by the way…"

Blair and Dan both turned their head to the door to see Serena and Nate leaning against the frame.

"Don't think we didn't notice" Nate said, pointing at the both of them.

Then they went away. Dan awkwardly moved away from Blair who smoothed her baby doll over her body.

"Oh, I am craving for coffee" she said, trying to sound natural.

She got out of the room with her chin held up, probably ready to show Serena and Nate that she had nothing to hide, and Dan followed her, laughing a little.

Dan and Blair helped Nate preparing breakfast, while Serena sat there, throwing commands at them. At first, Dan had found the pregnant version of Serena funny, lighter than the one she used to be. Now, he simply wanted to lock her up in a room until she went into labor.

When they put the breakfast food on the table, Serena gathered half of it into a plate in front of her. Dan, Blair and Nate reacted quickly before there wasn't any of it left for them.

"You know, girls," Nate started talking as he was serving himself some scrambled eggs "I don't mean to be a gripsou, but you've been here for more than a week, now, and it wouldn't hurt if you guys could contribute to the expense of the households. I mean, I don't think I've ever bought as much bacon in my entire life as I did since you got here"

"Ask Blair, I'm broke" Serena shrugged

"Who says I've got the money?"

"Why wouldn't you? Didn't you take over your mother's company?"

Blair wiped the corner of her lips, looking down to her plate "Waldorf Designs has been going through a rough patch, recently."

"Has it?" Nate asked "What does your mother has to say about it?"

"Eleanor and I are not really on speaking terms, right now" Blair answered, before continuing eating.

Nate and Dan exchanged a glance. Serena just ate.

"Well, you probably still have money. From your marriage, perhaps?"

Blair sighed, giving away how irritated she was "I do have access to Chuck's accounts, yes."

"Well there you go" Nate said "He won't mind, the man loves his bacon"

"Forget it" Blair said "I'll use my money. If I use Chuck's, he'll find out where I am"

"So?"

"So what if…" Blair paused, taking a deep breath, closing her eyes "What if he comes after me?"

The rest of the table was silent, and Serena even stopped eating. This time, she joined in Dan and Nate's eye contact, because they were all witnessing something new, and quite unhinging. Was Blair Waldorf scared of someone?

Nate reached out to take Blair's hand in his "Then I'll be waiting for him"

Blair squeezed his hand back, but did not look at him.

When they were done eating, Serena suggested they all played hide-and-seek.

"It'll be fun! And a good practice for when the baby will grow up and start wanting to play!" she said, clapping her hands.

"Blair will play with it" Nate said

"No, I won't" Blair immediately objected.

"Come on, guys!"

"Serena, if we play, I'll get on with my day and leave you hiding until you guys starve to death" Dan said

"I'm the one who's going to be looking" Serena said "I don't have a lot of options when it comes to hiding spots" she added rubbing her belly.

Nate looked at Dan, and they smiled to each other. They were thinking about the same thing.

"We're in" Nate said "Just have to pick up something from my room"

"And I'm going to take a shower, then go back to bed with a book" Blair said, before turning to Dan "Is it okay, if I go to your room?" she asked shyly.

"Um, yeah, no problem"

"You are a buzz kill, B!" Serena told her.

Blair didn't answer. When Nate came back, Serena put her hands over her eyes and started counting up to one hundred. Dan and Nate didn't need that much time to find a hiding spot. A few days after they arrived in Curacao and settled in the house, Nate had found a little room, similar to a broom closet in the living room. The door leading to it was at knee height, hidden behind a dresser. So Nate and Dan slipped into it, and put back the dresser in place before closing back the little door.

The only light they were granted with came from a little blind encased in the wall, and the room was so small that their knees were touching. Nate had a hard time getting his stash out of his pocket, but managed in the end and started to roll a joint.

"Serena had the best idea, ever" he said, lighting it.

"Agreed. At last, a moment alone with my bro. It's getting tiring to live with those women"

"Didn't seem to bother you that much, earlier" Nate said.

Dan didn't answer but took the joint.

"Did you have sex with her?" Nate asked.

"What?" Dan choked on the smoke, causing him to cough "No, we didn't sleep together"

A silence settled, only to be broken by the voice of Serena, echoing "Ready or not, here I come!" Nate and Dan laughed.

"I kissed her." Dan said "Or she kissed me. I don't really remember, but there was a kiss"

"With tongues and everything?"

"Dude, come on."

Nate laughed, taking back the joint "Man, in a month, we are going to have to go back to New York. And there is a big chance that Serena will have delivered by that time."

"Are you getting cold feet? Because Blair will end you"

"Nah" Nate said "But it is scary to think about how fast my life is going to change"

"I get that. Hey, can I be there when you tell your mother?"

"You're an asshole."

They laughed together, and brought down the volume when they heard Serena's dragging footsteps on the wooden floor in the living room. When the sound decreased, they started talking again.

"Are you gonna get back with Blair?" Nate asked, passing him the joint.

"No" the answer was fast to come, faster than what Dan would have thought "No" he repeated.

"Well, I gotta tell you, it's sad" Nate said "Because when I realized you had feelings for her in the first place, I was like 'there's no way it's ever going to work'; but then I saw you guys together and I thought that it actually could work. You could have been my snobbish couple of friends who looked down on everyone at the Spectator's parties."

"Man, that would have been so fun" Dan said, taking the final drag of the joint.

The enclosed space had kept the smoked in the air, and the weed was hitting them twice as fast. That was why when Nate started laughing, even though he didn't said what about, Dan started laughing too.

"Dude, I just imagined your child with Blair. Eating exclusively organic yogurts."

"Because you think that your child with Serena is going to be better? That kid is going to be so clueless"

"Well since it's not my biological kid, there might be a slight chance that his real father was a math genius or some shit"

The idea of Serena sleeping with a genius got them laughing for ten good minutes. They calmed down, eventually, but still had a goofy smile on their faces.

"Hey, can I asked you something?" Nate asked.

"Go on"

"Why don't you want to get back together with Blair?"

The question took time to hit Dan's brain, and he had barely the time to start thinking about an answer when there was a sound outside of furniture being pushed aside, then a knock on the little door.

"Get out, we know you're there" Blair's voice said.

Dan and Nate reluctantly got out of their high cocoon. When they opened the door, all the smoke trapped with them was released, causing Blair and Serena to step away, cringing.

"So I suggest we do something fun, and you guys get high?" Serena shook her head "Real mature, guys"

"You mean, as mature as playing hide-and-seek?" Dan asked, and Nate blocked his laughter with his fist.

"Whatever" Serena rolled her eyes, crossed her arms and sat on the sofa, pouting "I just wanted to have fun with you guys, before I become a stupid Upper East Side mom."

"Serena, darling" Blair sat next to her, putting a soothing hand on her head "You are going to be more than an Upper East Side mom. You are going to be THE Upper East Side mom. And I'm talking apartment on the 5th, New York's most eligible bachelor as your boyfriend, Vogue articles about the first ever It-Mom. I'll bet you anything that as soon as you go back to New York, Penelope and Hazel arrange to get pregnant"

Serena seemed genuinely comforted by what Blair had just told her, while Dan couldn't think of a more horrible thing to say to someone who didn't want to become a stay-home mom. He would never get Upper East Side women.

"Besides, hide-and-seek is not going to make you feel better. What you need is a real, fun night." Blair said "Let's go shopping, we are going out tonight. What do you think guys?"

"This is such a good idea" Nate said "God, Blair, you're the best"

"She is, man. She's the best" Dan added, because, well, Blair was the best.

"Okay, you guys go to bed, and sober up" Blair said, looking at their smiling faces suspiciously.

She took Serena by the hand and led her to take her shoes in Nate's room while the boys went to the kitchen. When they were about to leave, Blair was stopped by a hand on her wrist. She turned to see Dan looking down at her, his eyes red and a little hint of a smile on his lips.

"Come back soon" he said "You're the best"

Serena laughed, while Blair nodded and took back her hand. They had just started walking away from the house when Nate got his head out the window to shout "I love you, Serena!"

Finding shining pregnant clothes for Serena wasn't the easiest task, but Blair, being a dictator of taste managed to gather the perfect outfit for her. Nate would be going mad over her cleavage. They stopped for a cup of tea, and Serena started listing baby names. Blair listened religiously, only relieved that Serena would not mention the position she had found her in with Dan that morning.

When they went back to the house, Nate was showered, and watching _Spiderman_ on television. Serena went to sit next to him, snuggling against him while he put an arm around her. Blair made her way to Dan's room, and finding the door closed, she knocked.

Dan didn't answer, however, Blair pushed the door opened. He was sitting at his desk, pencil in hand, looking down on his notebook. He was only wearing pants, and his hair seemed humid, probably from a shower. Blair could smell his spicy cologne in the air, and it tickled her nose in a way it hadn't for two years, but she still remembered. When he heard the door open, he looked up, ready to tell Nate off. But then he saw Blair, and his gaze softened.

"Hey. How was shopping"

"Good" Blair said. As she was sure he wasn't going to hush her away, she walked to his bed and sat on it, dropping the shopping bags "Serena is going to look gorgeous, tonight"

"Good"

"Do you mind if I stay here and read a bit? I don't feel like being the third wheel to the shiny-hair-clan, over there?"

Dan laughed "I hear you. You can stay as much as you like."

Then he turned back to his notebook. Blair kicked off her shoes, and settled in the bed after having picked up her book. They stayed this way all afternoon, Dan in his writing, getting an amazing flow of inspiration, and Blair getting lost in the fiction, with only the sound of Dan's pencil scratching on the paper to deliciously distract her. At one point, she looked up and stared at his bent back, showing his concentration. She could not stop a little smile forming on her face, for she was almost certain that what she was feeling at that moment was even better than happiness. It was serenity.

X

Blair was drinking her second glass of rum, and she was already feeling dizzy. They were all dressed up and sitting in the living room, alcohol settled on the coffee table. Serena was slowly sipping on the only glass of red wine she would be having for the night, but the fact that she couldn't participate as much as the others didn't seem to bother her. She was smiling again, she was beaming. Blair had been right, Nate had seen her cleavage and was obviously having a hard time not staring at him.

Dan was handsome, in his cotton thread shirt and what Blair recognized as a D&G jacket. He could always pull off the jackets, Blair remembered. And he was laughing with Nate, the low-pitched tone of his voice sending shivers through her body. Sometimes he would look up at her and offer her a lazy, sincere, smile.

Blair had not been drunk for a while, and she was determined to change it that night. She wanted to have fun, because she was still young, and she was with her friends, and the future had stopped scaring her. However, when Nate took out a little bag with white powder in it, she shot him a reprimanding glance. He noticed it and laughed.

"What? I thought you wanted to have fun, tonight"

"I do. But this isn't the only way"

"You're right" Nate said "But this is a pretty good way" he added, starting to trace lines on the coffee table.

"And it doesn't bother you?" Blair asked Serena.

"Blair, hadn't I been pregnant, I would have been the first one to suggest it. I say you take my line, tonight"

"No, thank you very much" Blair answered, turning up her nose.

"Come on, don't be an old woman. You're with trustworthy people. What's the worst that could happen?"

Blair didn't answer, but watched Nate bend on the table to snort in a line. Then she looked at Dan, to try to catch his opinion with a glance, but he was busy rolling a joint. She sighed, understanding that she was surrounded. She couldn't believe that she was surrendering to peer-pressure at twenty-three years old.

"I don't know how to do it" she said

"You're adorable" Nate told her, and she murdered him with her eyes.

"I'll show you" Dan said, taking her by the hand.

He traded seats with Nate, and Blair stood next to him. She watched as he bent over the same way Nate did, and she heard a sniffing sound and the line was gone when he was back up. Then he put his hands on her hips, pressuring her gently so she would get down on her knees. She was really close to the table, and she tried not to breathe too hard, so she wouldn't mess up the lines. Dan kept his hands on her, and bent over her shoulder to whisper the instructions.

"Block one of your nostrils" he said, his breath on her hear.

Blair tried not to shake as she did, then she felt one of his hands leave her hips and settle on the back of her neck.

"Go on" he said.

Blair gathered her courage and executed a steady sniff, and she was not sure she had taken it in until she heard Nate and Serena cheer. She stood back up, not knowing what to do with her body. Then Dan pulled her so she would fall on his laps.

"How was it?" he asked, looking at her with a smile "Do you feel like a big girl, now?"

Blair just gave him an annoyed roll of her eyes and went to sit back next to Serena. Before they would get too drunk, or too high, Nate suggested they went to his and Dan's favorite bar, to taste their favorite cocktails. They had to take a taxi downtown, because Blair's heels were too fashionable to be comfortable.

When they arrived at the bar, the atmosphere was festive. There people everywhere and music and it brightened Serena's smile even more. The barman greeted them happily, because he hadn't seen Nate and Dan in a while and offered them the first round of cocktails. They took a table and when Blair finished her drink, Dan and Nate were starting on their seconds. She decided to hold back, to support Serena, and because she was already drunk.

She was sitting next to Dan, and he had an arm on the edge of the bench over her shoulders. She tried not to think too much of it, and ignored Nate wriggling suggestively his eyebrows at her.

When Nate and Serena started making out like two horny teenagers, Dan moved closer to Blair.

"How is your night, so far?"

She looked up at him, and melted in front of his lazy, goofy smile.

"It's pretty fun. I had not been out this way in a while"

"You never went out with Chuck?" Dan asked

Blair realized that she didn't mind talking about Chuck when she had been drinking "Always formal stuff. And Jack was always around."

Dan nodded and finished his drink "Do you remember when we went to that bar in Brooklyn?"

"Which one?"

"With the Japanese whisky and the croque-monsieurs"

"I do" Blair said, the memory bringing a smile on her lips.

"Do you remember what we did there?" Dan asked.

Blair took in a deep breath and held up her hand to order another drink.

"I do" she answered.

"I couldn't believe that Blair Waldorf was letting me fuck her in the bathroom of a Brooklyn bar" Dan whispered.

The crude choice of his word should have perhaps disgusted her; but it only spread warmth through her body.

"And in the alley after that" she reminded him "You had really lowered my standards"

Dan lowered his head to nuzzle her shoulder with his nose "Mmh, but it was a good thing that I did, judging on how loud you screamed my name when you came"

Blair's breath started itching. She knew he was talking this way because he was drunk. However, she couldn't blame the way she was reacting on the alcohol. When he started kissing her shoulder, she thought she was going to lose it.

She didn't, but only because, being the only one looking up, she saw Marla approaching them, all smile and big breasts. Blair didn't have the time to push Dan away before Marla would actually see what was going on.

"Dan?"

Dan looked up, as well as Serena and Nate, and he moved away from Blair.

"Hey" he said, sounding casual "What's up?"

"I don't know, you tell me"

Blair's drink arrived and she took a long sip before standing up, saying she was going to the bathroom. Serena followed, of course. Marla looked at Nate, probably urging him silently to go away too, but he simply smiled at her.

"What was that about?" she asked Dan "I thought she was a friend"

"She is" Dan answered

"Do you flirt in public with all of your friends?"

"No, not really"

"Okay, then, you tell me who she really is, right now."

"Dan, allow me" Nate cut in. He took a deep breath, his brows furrowed, but the hint of amusement on his face "The question, pretty Marla, isn't who Blair is. It's who _you_ are. And the answer is as simple. You are just a combination of the two girls my friend Dan here has fallen for the hardest in his life. You've got the boobs, very nice ones, the shiny hair, and the intelligence and culture."

"What?"

"If you don't believe me, go talk to them. They just went to the bathroom" Nate said.

Marla looked at him, then back to Dan, confused. The she said "Oh my God. They are the _Non Judging Breakfast Club_, aren't they?"

"Enchanté" Nate smiled at her.

She ignored him and simply looked at Dan "Have a nice life with your screwed-up friends, Dan Humphrey"

She took off in an angry step, while Dan sat there, confused. Serena and Blair were back, and Blair sat as far as she could from Dan.

"Where did Marla go?" Serena asked "What happened?"

"I don't know" Dan answered "Nate told her she had nice boobs"

"She does" Serena admitted.

The night had taken a turn that Blair didn't really enjoy. And since Serena was getting tired, they decided to call it a night. She didn't talk to Dan until they got back to the house, and Nate and Serena were leaving them alone in the living room.

He looked at her. She could see he was still drunk, but he wasn't smiling anymore. Just looking, with absolutely no expression on his face. Blair turned away from him, and went on the veranda, looking over to the sea.

She heard him walking toward her and tensed when she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"I feel like I should say I'm sorry, but I don't know what for" Dan said.

"Why wouldn't you want to get back with me?" Blair asked.

She looked at him, and he seemed taken aback.

"I heard you with Nate, today, in that little room. Before I told you to get out, I could hear you. But I didn't want to hear you answer, so I knocked. Now, I do. Why?"

"Blair…"

"I just want to know, because I lost all the love that was given to me. Nate, Chuck, Louis, and now you. Am I unlovable?" She looked him in the eyes to show him she wasn't afraid of his answer.

"What? Blair, no. I loved you, okay? And do you remember what you answered when I told you?"

Blair's eyes went down "I can't remember" she whispered.

Dan's heart dropped. It wasn't the answer he was expecting. He thought she would remember. But then again, why would she? He had accepted that she didn't love him, back then, and the fact that she wouldn't remember her answer only served to prove his point.

"That's because you don't love yourself" he said "That's because you sometimes don't even want to be loved. And you don't know how to be happy, too. That's why you always go back to Chuck."

Blair turned around again. She thought she could take it, but she had been wrong. Dan didn't let her motion stop him.

"I said I was going to help you, Blair. But I can't make you happy, you made that pretty clear. So I'll teach you how to love yourself, like I did before, and I'll teach you how to be satisfied with what life gives you, so that one day, when you meet the right person, you'll know how to handle the fact that he makes you happy."

Blair didn't answer. She was drunk, and she was tired, and Dan was saying all those things that stirred hope deep inside her.

"So you don't love me anymore?" she asked, turning back to him.

Dan didn't answer right away, but took a step closer to her "I don't."

"Why not?" Blair asked, getting closer too.

"I had to move on, Blair. I couldn't wait for you forever"

"The Dan I knew would have. What happened to him?"

"You happened. You used him, destroyed him, and just left him there without explanations. You broke me, Blair."

Blair didn't answer, but swung her arms around his neck, kissing him on the mouth. He immediately responded, pulling her closer to him by the hips. When Blair realized he wasn't going to push her away, she kissed him with more intent, more fever, and more passion.

Then, without any warnings, Dan grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her against the wall. Blair could feel the heat from his body on hers, and suddenly she felt hot, too hot. Together, they pushed away his jacket, while Dan started to kiss her on the neck, hitting the right spot. His hands moved under her dress, and he discarded her of her underwear, rolling them on her thighs. They got stuck in one of her heels, and Blair tried to get rid of them, but Dan took her wrists in one hand, pinning them on the wall above her head, as his other hand went between her legs.

Blair let out a small gasp when he inserted two fingers inside of her, making her instantly wet. Then she started moaning and the more she was letting out the sound, the faster Dan was pumping inside of her. His breath was ragged on her face, almost bestial. Blair wanted to touch him too, so she tried to break from his grasp, but he tightened his hand around her wrists, forcefully, violently, in a way that reminded Blair of someone else.

_Chuck._

That was when she fully understood what he had told her. She had indeed destroyed him. And he unconsciously was making her pay.

She tried to say something, but Dan kissed her again, and she was overwhelmed by desire. He let go of her, to push down the straps of her dress, and started kissing her breasts ferociously. Taking advantage of the freedom she had been granted with, Blair's hands went to unbutton his pants. When she felt against her palms how hard he was for her, she could not take it anymore and pushed down his pants and boxers. She wanted him, so bad.

Dan pushed her up against the wall, wrapping her legs around him, and entered her. He was thrusting hard, in a way Blair wasn't familiar with, making the back of her body hit against the wall, in a way that would leave bruises. His breathing was still too strong, as if he was on the verge of a stroke.

"Dan" she whispered, between gasp.

But he didn't answer, only pounded harder.

"Dan" she repeated. "You're being too…stop it"

He didn't, and Blair kissed him on the cheek, and stroked his hair with all the softness she could find within her. Then she felt something water dropping on her shoulder. He was crying. It made her heart ache. Dan stopped moving, but did not pull out. He rested his forehead against the wall, just above her shoulder, and Blair could hear now the sobs.

"I'm sorry I broke you" she said, wrapping her arms tight around him. "I am so sorry, Dan. But let me fix you. You are the sweetest human being I have ever met, and the world needs to see it. Don't let me destroy you, I am not worth it. I never was."

Dan's head moved to kiss her, his tears wetting her face.

"Shut up" he whispered against her lips.

"No" she answered, firmly. "I can fix you. I want to help you, the same way you vowed to help me. You don't have to be alone, Dan."

He kissed her again, softly this time, like he used to and Blair felt her chest explode at the sensation of finding the Dan she used to know. He started moving within her again, and Blair was brought back two years earlier, in his room, at the loft. He was moving hesitantly, probably not sure if she still wanted it.

"Go on" she encouraged him "Just like we used to"

It was only what Dan needed. His thrusts were smooth, relentless, and caring. Nobody else could ever pull that off, Blair realized. He didn't matter how much they fought, how apart they would grow, Dan would always make love to her the same way.

She knew he was close when he started pressing his body on hers, obviously struggling to wait for her. So Blair took his head in both of her hands and kissed him, giving him all blessings. Dan moaned loudly into her mouth, and she felt his hot release shoot insider her.

After a few minutes, Dan let her go and Blair had a hard time standing on her feet. They both dressed back up, and then walked toward his room, Blair hanging on one of his arms, her cheek on his shoulder and her hand in his. They both went to bed without changing, just taking off their shoes, and Blair was grateful with the way he put an arm around her.

Dan doesn't know what to do with what he just read. He knew he was right to have doubts. Blair called him a jealous freak, but the evidence that he was right to be is plastered on the internet, for all New York to see.

_What if I never love anyone more than I love Chuck? _ she wrote. And Gossip Girl's comment on that is just the best part. It looks indeed as if she forgot a "d" at the end of a word.

What is there to love so much about Chuck Bass anyway? Dan truly doesn't understand. But then again, two years ago, he could have never thought of something lovable about Blair Waldorf. When he hears her entering the loft, he decides that it's time to speak up. He wants to go to Rome with her, visit the museums and eat Italian cuisine, write while she reads and make love to her all night. But he can't live a dream like that, and realize later it was all based on a lie.

It's Blair Waldorf he is dealing with, and she will never admit the truth, unless she is confronted to it.

"Do you even want to be in this relationship?" he asks.

"Of course"

She doesn't flinch when she answers, and she seems genuinely hurt when he gives her the ultimatum to meet him at the party. Her reaction gives him hope. He thinks she is going to choose him. But he maintains the ultimatum, because she needs to realize that she has the tendency of making him feel like crap, when she's not being honest.

He watches her go, and he thinks it is going to be okay. They are going to go to Italy together, and have the most wonderful summer. He is almost certain of it. If she is not ready to tell him she loves him, it's fine. He just needs to be sure she won't be regretting going away with him. He selfishly needs to know that she won't be thinking about someone else, while sleeping next to him.

But it is going to be fine. Dan decides to trust fate. All of the things they have been going through together, it can't be for nothing, right? She won't destroy it. She won't throw it away. Even Blair Waldorf is not that cruel.

Dan woke up in a little jump. Blair moved next to him, but continued to sleep deeply. So the dreams were starting again, and that one was definitely not good. He felt like he had dreamed specifically of that horrible moment for one thing. He knew whatever had happened between him and Blair that night was a one-time thing. They needed each other. But he knew that what his mind had showed him wasn't meant to heal some sentiment of melancholia. It was a warning.

* * *

**_I just feel like I have to say this : the use of drugs is only for the sake of the story. I do not recommand it AT ALL._**

**_If there are young readers here, I just wanted you to know that I do not think that you need to use drugs to have fun. And what Serena said about it being okay because Blair being with trustworthy people, it's bullshit._**

**_No one is trustworthy under the influence of those kind of substances, take my word for it._**

**_So if you're at a party one day, and that one of your friend offers it to you, I would advise you to refuse politely. And if people make fun of you for saying no, walk out, go home and read Dair fanfictions._**

**_That is all. Love, guys._**

**_xoxo_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hi, lovely people ! Here's chapter seven, Dair filled, that I hope you'll like. This chapter is about clearing the air so that they don't have anything to hold against each other anymore. _**

**_Three chapters to go, though. Yep, it's getting to the end! Now, what do you think I have planned for you? Happy Ending? Doomed ending? Giant plot twist that leads to a sequel fanfiction? (lol it's not that one.) If you know me well enough, you'll know the answer._**

**_Anyway, enjoy the reading, especially you, Anonymous reviewer who requested shower sex. ;)_**

* * *

When Blair woke up, Dan wasn't in bed anymore. She sat up, and looked around. She was alone in his room. And with a slight headache. She ran her hand on the spot where he had been lying the previous night, and found it still slightly warm. So he had not been awake for long.

She got out of the bed. She was dizzy. She needed a good shower, to wash the hangover away. Blair took a towel and made her way to the bathroom. The whole house was silent, but when she got in front of the closed bathroom, she could hear the shower running. Biting her bottom lip, she turned the doorknob carefully.

The whole room was filled with vapor, and she could barely see Dan's body through the shower glass doors. His back was facing her, and he obviously hadn't heard her coming in. Blair looked at the muscles on his back, tensed. He was leaning with one arm against the tiles of the shower wall, hand in fist, as the other one was moving in front of his lower body. Blair could also hear his ragged breathing over the flow of the hot water running over him.

When she understood what he was doing, her breath got stuck in her throat, and she felt warmer than the vapor had made her feel when she got in the room.

To her, it was basically a green-light from the universe. She dropped her three hundred dollars cocktail dress on the floor, along with the towel, and made a quick work of getting rid of her underwear, still very quietly.

Blair hesitated for a moment. It was morning, and the white tiles in the entire bathroom made everything much brighter. If she got in the shower, Dan would be able to clearly see her, clearly see her body. She wasn't sure if she wanted that. But then, she heard his low-pitched voice emit a groan, and she threw away all of her doubts.

She opened the shower door and Dan jumped, instantly turning around, almost slipping on the ceramic floor.

Blair undid her hair, and pushed him a bit to the side so she could settle under the hot water. She sighed of contentment, loving the elevated temperature running over her skin, then she looked up at Dan. He was looking back at her, bemused.

"Blair, what are you doing?"

"Taking a shower" she shrugged.

She restrained the instinctive urge of covering up her body with her arms when Dan's eyes travelled from her face to her whole body. She could see his glare going over her shoulders, her breasts, her stomach and her thighs. She was afraid he would find her disgusting, undesirable.

But then, as Dan's eyes went back up on her breasts, she could have sworn seeing him licking his lips slightly, before he exhaled loudly. Blair turned around to hide the smug smile on her lips, and heard him hiss a strangled "Oh, God", as she was certain his eyes were on her ass.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked, still not facing him.

"Um, not really" Dan said "If anything, there are a lot of things very, very right here"

Blair turned around with a smile, and he looked her in the eyes that time.

"You're beautiful. You know that" he told her.

"Don't say that"

"But Blair, what happened last night…we were drunk, we were sad, and angry. I'm sorry"

Blair nodded. Only Dan Humphrey could give a conversation such a serious tone when the participants were naked in front of each other.

"I know, Dan. Don't worry. But this past week" she chuckled bitterly "this past year has been so stressful. I need to release the tension. And you said you would help me, remember?"

Dan bit the inside of his cheek. Only Blair Waldorf could turn an honest, friendly proposition into a kinky one.

"You also said you would help me" he told her "and having sex in the shower isn't going to"

Blair smiled deviously then got closer to him, pressing their wet chests together and her hand went to wrap around his erection firmly.

"Are you sure about that?" she asked softly

"Oh, fuck" Dan hissed as she started stroking him.

"That's what I thought" she said.

Her hand started going up and down on him, and Dan steadied himself by putting a hand on her shoulder, and the other one around her neck. Then he pulled her closer to kiss her, mouth open, preventing her from continuing her gesture.

"Just this one time" he whispered breathlessly when they pulled away.

"Okay" Blair said, out of breath too.

Dan reached behind her to turn off the tap, then pushed her against one of the walls.

"Also" he said as his hands kept her hips against the wall "Nate is going to wake up soon, so this has to be quick"

Blair nodded in agreement, and felt the anticipation tense all of her muscles when Dan kneeled on the floor in front of her, and pulled her left leg, placing it on his shoulder. She could feel his hot, ragged breath on her center, and bucked her hips a bit forward, to indicate that she was ready, that she wanted this. Dan smiled at her movement, lifting his face to give her what she longed for. When his tongue lapped against her, she let out a breathy moan. He stopped, looking up to her.

"And quiet"

His head went back between her legs, and Blair felt tickling in her fingers. He was too good at this, Blair remembered. She watched him, closed eyes, eyebrows crooked, meticulous in his task to pleasure her.

Blair was almost certain that she would not get out alive of the bathroom, because his tongue on her, pressing there, and licking there was going to bring her to her end. His left hand was still on her leg, squeezing it and leaving deep red marks on her pale skin when her moans were getting a little too loud. But she couldn't help it. She hadn't been touched this way for months now, and even though what she had said earlier about releasing tension was part of a seductive act, she actually felt something escape from her as he sucked, and licked, again and again.

She weaved the fingers of her left hand through his hair, urging him to go faster while the other one reached for Dan's free one. Their fingers intertwined, and when Dan's tongue entered her, she had to bite her bottom lip hard, turning her moan into a deep groan. His hand left hers to roam over her stomach, and settled over one of her breast, pinching a hard nipple, stimulating the upper part of her body while his mouth seemed determined to make her come undone.

"Dan" she breathed in a way that hardened him so much more that he pressed his tongue harder on her, hoping it would incite her to say it again "Dan…I want you" she moaned.

A part of Dan wanted to make her beg for him, but another one, the conscious one, knew that they didn't have time for that. So his mouth left her center, after a last peck and he stood up before her, looking into her hazy, desire filled doe-eyes.

He put his hand on her shoulders, and let them fall onto her body, tracing the shape of her arms, her hips and newfound love handles. He couldn't believe she thought her curves would drive anyone away. Then his hands swung under her ass to lift her against him, and he entered her smoothly, in a low pace, burying all of his length inside her heat.

"Damn" he gasped, not afraid to sound too cliché.

Blair felt mind-numbingly good around him. It wasn't like the night before, when all they could felt was the urge to turn off the despair. It was hot, and burning, and so delicious at the same time. He set up a quick pace, because Nate and Serena would be awake soon and Blair agreed openly, vocally at the rhythm. Dan kissed her to swallow her moans, and preventing them from echoing in the room; but soon, he himself started making noises, unable to trap them in his throats.

Blair started moving her hips in a tentative to go faster, and it got Dan's shaft into such a perfect angle inside of her, he thought he was going to explode. He knew she wasn't going to reach completion anytime soon, and she hadn't the night before so Dan commanded her to touch herself. Blair obliged, one of her hands leaving his shoulder and travelling between their bodies, reaching the place where they both joined.

He could feel the motion of her hand against his stomach, and it made him thrust harder into her. Blair started to emit loud sounds, and that time Dan didn't stop her, rendered oblivious of anything that wasn't her.

"Oh God, Dan, yes. Yes" she whispered.

Dan felt her whole body clench around him, and he couldn't hold it in anymore. He summoned all of his strength not to let go of her, while he kissed her neck, burying his groans there as he climaxed into her, while she sank her nails into his skin.

Dan finally put her back down. Blair turned the tap back open, and they wash each other's bodies, trying to regain sanity. They got out of bathroom together, and Dan could hear movements in the kitchen. Nate or Serena or both had probably heard them.

They went back to his room to get dressed, Blair was moving like a zombie, her movements really slow and her gaze empty. As he was putting pants on, Dan's phone started ringing on his desk. He reached to see that it was Jenny calling him again.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?"

He sighed "Not telling you, Jenny. I'll be back in New York next month, though"

"Fine" he could hear how annoyed she was "I'll find out anyway, so if you don't wanna answer, I'd rather you tell me this: is Blair Waldorf with you?"

"What?" Dan asked and looked at Blair dressing.

She looked back at him, inquiry in her eyes.

"Why are you asking that?"

"I'm in New York" she said "And Chuck Bass called me early this morning. He asked if I knew where you were, because apparently, precious Blair has gone MIA and he thinks she is with you. Is she?"

"No, Jenny" Dan lied, his breath short "I haven't seen Blair in two years, since our break-up" he looked at Blair who was now standing straight and seemed worried "Or non-break-up" he corrected, and Blair's eyes narrowed at him.

"If you're lying, I'll find out"

"I'm not lying" Dan said, managing to sound confident enough.

"Fine. There is something else, though. I went to see Lily Bass yesterday"

"What? Jenny, no, you promised"

"I know. But the thing is Dad is doing really fine. He eats properly, goes out to concerts; he even started writing songs again. I mean, songs about how love is useless, but still, he is creating. And I wanted to tell Lily that he didn't need her."

"Why wouldn't you leave the woman alone?"

"And when I told her, she started crying. She hasn't heard from Serena in two years. Apparently, every PI she hired weren't able to find her in the country, so she assumes she is somewhere in Europe. But she can't find her. She told me Serena might be dead, Dan."

Dan didn't answer, and Blair was now looking at him, all dressed and hands on her hips, waiting for his call to end.

"Jenny…tell Lily that Serena isn't dead. Tell her she is coming back home soon."

"So you know where she is? Is she with you?"

"No, not really. I can't tell you"

"You want me to believe that Serena is with you but Blair isn't? Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"Okay, fine!" Dan was losing his temper "Serena is with me, and Nate and I are bringing her back to New York. But I don't know where Blair is. According to Serena, they haven't talked in two years"

"Bullshit"

"It's true, Jenny." Dan knew he had to lie to her, because Jenny would be too glad to give Blair away to Chuck "They had a fight because I slept with Serena and now they're not talking anymore"

"Too much details, thank you. I'll tell, Lily. But I'm not done with you, Dan"

She hung up. Blair was still looking at Dan, worried, confused, tensed.

"Did you really sleep with Serena?" she asked, because she knew it could very well be true.

She still remembered how she and Serena had been fighting two years earlier, and Serena seducing Dan was probable. Dan shook his head.

"Now isn't the time, Blair. Chuck is looking for you"

"You did, didn't you?" Blair asked.

She didn't wait for the answer and got out of the room with a determined step. Dan followed her, knowing she was going to ask Serena.

"Blair, wait, Serena doesn't need this right now"

He tried to hold her back by the wrist, but Blair yanked it violently away. She went into the kitchen, and found Nate and Serena sitting there, having breakfast.

"There you guys are" Nate said with a smile when Dan entered the kitchen "Did you already take a shower this morning?"

"Did you sleep with Dan when we were together?" Blair asked Serena.

Serena looked at Dan, dumb-founded, then at Nate and finally at Blair.

"B, it was…such a long time ago. It's in the past"

"Wait, what?" Nate asked. He went to stand up in front of Dan. "Is it true?"

"It's more complicated than that" Dan said.

"It's really not. Either you guys slept together, either you didn't." Nate said "And the look on both of your faces gives me a pretty good idea of what the answer is going to be"

"Nate…"

"Dude, what is wrong with you?"

"Come on, you weren't even with her, back then. You can't give me shit about that" Dan felt a sentiment of unfairness taking him over.

"Oh, yeah? Are you with Blair, right now?" Nate asked.

"No!" Dan and Blair both said.

Nate moved toward Blair, never breaking the eye contact with Dan until he took Blair's face into his hands and kissed her fully on the mouth. Blair's body stilled in stupor, eyes wide opened as Serena gasped, outraged.

"How did that feel?" Nate asked Dan once he released a stunned Blair.

"Well…not particularly good" Dan realized out loud.

He did indeed feel the need to punch Nate in the face. Nate turned to Serena, pointing his finger at her.

"You should have told me" he said.

The he got out of the kitchen, and soon they could hear the front door slamming.

"Come on" Dan looked at Blair "It happened two years ago, and it didn't mean anything!"

"So why would you do it, Dan? To get revenge because I had left you for Chuck?" Blair turned to Serena "I don't even need to know your reasons" she said.

"Blair, I think we can very well remember who was in love with Dan at that time, and who wasn't" Serena said "I tried to get him back, because he was wasting his time, and his love with you"

"And how did that exactly turn out? Did you two date, after I went to Europe, is that it? Did you have dinner at Italians restaurants, telling each other about how despicable I am?"

"No, we parted right after that" Dan said "I left to Italy with Georgina and Serena…"

He looked back at Serena. He was realizing he had no idea what she had been doing after he told her off. Serena looked down at her hands, and Blair understood.

"It's because of him, isn't it?" she said "You weren't getting away from New York. You were getting away from him."

Serena didn't answer, and Blair turned to Dan "How could you? Why would you?"

"I didn't know she was going to react this way, Blair. I just…I really thought that it was as meaningless to her as it had been to me."

"It's not Dan's fault, Blair" Serena said "Not entirely. The three of us screwed each other over. Let's just put it in the past"

Blair shook her head "That's always your solution, Serena. To put things in the past. When are you going to realize that it doesn't stop the consequences from reaching the present?"

With one last, sad look at the two of them, she left the kitchen and the house. Dan stayed there with Serena, and he saw she was starting to cry. He did not like seeing someone crying, no less Serena, and moreover pregnant Serena. He took a seat next to her and took her hand between his.

"It's going to be okay" he said "Nate and Blair are just upset because everything happened so fast this past week. They'll cool off quickly"

Serena just went on crying, and Dan searched his mind for something to say to comfort her.

"Jenny called me. And she said your mother really misses you. I told her to tell Lily that you would be back soon"

"My mother won't want to see me" Serena sobbed "Not with a baby, not after what she's been through because of me"

"Of course she will. Lily loves babies, you know that. Serena, I can guarantee you that everything is going to turn out well for you."

Serena nodded, and accepted the glass of orange juice he was offering her. Nate and Blair came back at the same time, a little after lunch. Dan was watching tv and Serena asleep next to him on the couch. He saw Nate looking at Serena before he went into the kitchen, while Blair went to sit on the veranda with a book.

That night, when he went to bed, Blair didn't join him, and he found her on the couch the following morning.

It stayed this way for about a week. Nate not talking to Serena more than to ask if she was okay, if she needed anything, or what she would like to eat; Blair not talking to Dan at all.

One particularly hot afternoon, Dan got tired of the silence directed at him in the house, and went to the beach, lying on the sand under a coconut tree. It didn't take long for him to doze off, and sink into the multiple ponds of the past stagnating in his mind.

She still hasn't called. She hasn't even texted. She would pretend that doesn't ignore him, that he isn't relevant enough for her to ignore him, but he know she is because _Roman Holiday_ was showing at the Angelika last night, and he didn't see her there.

So Dan, out of pride, doesn't reach out either. Although, that pride slides away every hour, when he checks his phone in hope to find something, but faces the emptiness of his message box or voicemail.

He couldn't really have been that big of a deal, he thinks. They kissed, yes, but just to make sure it wouldn't mean anything. And it didn't.

Did it? Dan isn't sure, and he is looking at his computer screen, trying to write away his frustration. Blair didn't help making things clear, of course. He has to figure out what the kiss meant, and what her silence after it means.

It wasn't a bad kiss. Just strange. In the way that, why on earth would it be so nice to kiss Blair Waldorf?

His phone rings and Dan almost jumps on it. He answers without looking, and can't help the disappointment tying up his stomach when he hears Serena's voice. She wants him to come over at their parents', but Dan can't. He doesn't have the time for that. He needs to figure out what the kiss meant.

Dan was slightly annoyed with himself when he woke up on the beach. This memory didn't even seem real. How was it again, that they ended up in a kiss? Dan couldn't even recall. The only thing he knew was that it had not been his brightest idea. Without that kiss, he would have probably living a more peaceful life.

But without that kiss, he wouldn't have known what it felt like to love Blair Waldorf. And it was a feeling he actually didn't want to forget.

He went back to the house, finding Serena in the living room.

"Where are the others?" he asked

"They went out" Serena said, rubbing her belly, glooming.

Dan sighed. Nate and Blair had become quite the buddies, ever since the truth about him and Serena had come out. He sat next to her and turned on the TV. Then Serena surprised him when she reached to take his hand in hers, and bring her over her stomach. Dan felt something moving under his palm, and he smiled at Serena.

"This is so freaky" he said

"I know, right?" Serena laughed "It's like the baby is dancing"

The front door opened, and Nate and Blair came inside, both laughing. Then they looked at Dan and Serena, with Dan's hand on her.

"Okay, get a room" Nate said

"Nate" Blair nudged him, giving him an insistent look, then she turned back to the others "We come bearing gifts" she said lifting a plastic bag in her hand.

She walked towards them, and took out of the bag a baby onesie with _"I love Curaçao"_ written on it.

"It's not really my size" Dan said, and Blair rolled her eyes.

"Here" she handed Serena the little outfit "We overreacted. You're right, we should put the past aside, and focus on the future. How cute is your baby going to look in that?"

Serena smiled at Blair, and tears started to fill her eyes.

"Sorry" she whispered "Hormones".

They laughed and Blair turned to Dan "This is for you, from Nate" she took out a lollipop.

"Are you serious?" Dan asked Nate, who shrugged.

"Look what's written on it" Blair said, and Dan did.

"You're cute" he read with a laugh "Now that's better" he said, and Nate smiled at him.

He went to shake his hand, then stood a whipping Serena up to lead her to their bedroom. Blair watched them go with a soft smile, while Dan didn't take his eyes away from her. When she looked back at him, she smiled wider. She took out a DVD out of the plastic bag.

"Here, I'm sorry" she said.

Dan looked at the case. _Roman Holiday._ He smiled, because as before, he felt like Blair could perfectly read his mind.

"This is more of a gift to yourself, Blair" he said.

"Is it?" Blair asked, then shrugged "Oops."

She took back the case to slide the disc into the DVD player. He watched her as she almost skipped her way back to the couch, and settled there, eyes glimmering as the images of Rome in the opening credits started playing on the screen.

"Blair" he said "Aren't you worried?"

"About what?" she asked, not really listening.

"About Chuck finding you. You remember Jenny said he was looking for you, right?"

"So what?" Blair said, looking at him this time. "I'm not scared of him. And besides, he hates you more than me. So if he finds me, he'll just jump on you, and give me plenty of time to escape"

Dan laughed "Sounds like a good plan."

"Of course it is. I came up with it"

As the movie was rolling, Dan and Blair shifted in several different positions on the couch, to the point where Blair was resting against his side, and his arm was around her shoulders. It was then again, like going back in time. How many times had they been in this position, on the couch of the loft, Audrey on the screen? Dan had actually lost count. But it had been something he just couldn't get tired of, and he was experiencing a relapse.

Blair's hand was resting on his stomach. From time to time, her fingers would move, picturing her reactions to the plot. Flat when she was laughing too hard, clenched when she was anxious. It was ridiculous, because she knew the movie by heart. When Dan mentioned it, she hit him and told him to shut up.

When the movie was over, Blair leaned back up to applause and Dan stretched his numb arm. Night was coming, and Nate and Serena hadn't got out of their room.

"Do you want something to eat?" Dan asked Blair.

She looked at him, took a deep breath and bit her lip.

"Yes" she answered.

Dan was going to stand up and make his way to the kitchen, but Blair moved to pin him on the couch by the shoulders and went above him to straddle him.

"Blair what are you doing?" he asked, baffled and a bit scared.

"Eating" she said before diving in to kiss him.

Dan didn't kiss back, but didn't push her away either.

"No" he said against her lips "We said it was just one time"

"And now it's going to be two times" Blair replied as she started kissing his neck.

"We are not having sex, Blair. Friends don't have sex with each other."

"Were we really in the same high school?" she asked, falsely dubious.

She went back to kiss his neck as her hands travelled directly to undo his bathing shorts. Dan shimmied his hips under her to get out of reach.

"Blair, you can't force me to have sex with you" he said, even though he was already getting hard.

"We'll see about that"

When Dan thought that she would actually manage to have her way with him, there was a firm knock on the front door, and Dan and Blair became still. Serena and Nate were in their room, and they didn't know anyone else on the island.

"Did your girlfriend forget another toe-ring?" Blair asked.

Dan didn't answer, but pushed Blair off him, looking at the door. He knew she was thinking like him, despite her sarcasm. He looked at her while he stood up.

"Go to my room" he told her.

"I am not hiding, Dan" Blair said, standing up too.

"What if it's Chuck?" Dan asked

"I am _not_ hiding. Especially from him." Blair repeated, more confidently that she would have thought.

Dan nodded and went to the door. When he opened, he didn't know if he was supposed to be relieved, or even more worried. Jenny was standing in front of him, a suitcase at her feet, and she was resting with her elbow against Eric's shoulder. They both wore sunglasses, impeccable clothes, and both had a smug on their faces. They looked like the cover of a fashion magazine. Then Jenny pushed her sunglasses down on her nose to look past Dan into the house, at Blair. Her eyes returned on her older brother, and her smile widened.

"Gotcha"

* * *

**_The next chapter is so full of Dair, it's almost painful to write. They're so perfect. I miss them._**

**_Gonna cry, bye._**

**_xo_**


	8. Chapter 8

_Hi, lovelies! I had to change the plan for this story, so there will be a chapter more than planned. Just to think that I had no idea where this story was going, but now I do and I don't want it to end._

_I just can't move on from Dair, it's terrible, I'm going to drown under the awesomeness of this couple._

_Anyway, have a good reading, tell me how you feel about this one, you know, the use._

* * *

Jenny pushed Dan aside to step in, dragging her suitcase behind her. Eric followed, tapping Dan friendly on the shoulder. Jenny let herself fall on the couch with an exhausted sigh, not paying attention to Blair.

"Jenny, what are you doing here?" Dan asked.

"I'm here to take you back to New York" she shrugged.

"I don't need a chaperon, let alone you as a chaperon"

"I don't want to fight with you, Dan." Jenny took off her sunglasses "Believe it or not, my presence here is me looking out for you. I got a call, if you don't come back soon to New York, the police is going to start looking for you. They want to charge you for abduction"

Dan looked at his little sister attentively. She wasn't joking.

"What? It's ridiculous, abduction of whom?"

Jenny's eyes carefully went on Blair, still standing in the living room, and went back on Dan. He understood. Chuck Bass was behind everything.

"Unbelievable" he breathed out. "How did you even find me?"

"The whole world knows where you are, Dan. Some British journalist wrote an article about you in The Guardian."

Eric took out his phone "It was pretty fun to read. _Daniel Humphrey is nothing more than a bored and boring New Yorker, who didn't know what to do with his life except expose the deeds of his closest friends so he could get the illusion of having some sort of writing skills."_

Blair snorted a little, then stopped when Dan looked at her.

" Our favorite part is this one" Eric continued reading "_As if this wasn't sad enough, the girl he described as the one who destroyed his entire life and being, is currently vacationing with him on the very select island of Curaçao, in a house rented at height hundred dollars per week. So much for being a misunderstood outsider. Dan Humphrey portrayed the Non-Judging Breakfast Club as four people without any principles, ready to screw over others for their own pleasure and entertainment. He just forgot to mention he was the fifth hidden wheel of the carriage."_

"What? Who wrote that?" Dan asked, feeling the anger creeping up.

"Er, the journalist is called Marla Farragh" Eric answered.

Dan closed his eyes, cursing himself, while Blair put her hands on her hips.

"Really, Humphrey? You had to stuff a journalist?"

"I didn't know about her job, okay? I never asked"

"Classy" Blair pursed her lips.

"And you could've picked another destination" Jenny said "The humidity is so bad for my hair"

"Has anything ever been good to it?" Blair asked, feigning to browse her mind for an answer.

Jenny's eyes settled on Blair. She stood up to face her, a smile on her face. Dan took in how much his sister had changed. She wasn't afraid of Blair anymore, she didn't even seem to want to defy her either. She was just a plain confident young woman.

"You" she told Blair, shaking her head "You just had to go after my brother, didn't you?"

"You mean like you went after my boyfriend?"

"Girls…" Dan opened his mouth but Jenny silenced him with her hand, her eyes never leaving Blair.

"Husband now, if my sources are correct" she said "And I'm judging that you being here while he is looking everywhere for you means that there's trouble in Paradise. Twenty-three years old, and two failed marriages. Way to go, Queen B"

Blair's breathing quickened. She wanted to slap that little smirk off her face. Who did she think she was, coming after her this way? They engaged in a stare contest, Jenny satisfied to have had the last word.

"Dan" Eric said "The article says that Serena is here…and that she is…"

Dan instantly understood what Eric was saying.

"She is" he answered "I think she is taking a nap, right now, but she is here, very pregnant, and very healthy. A little too healthy if you ask me."

Eric smiled slightly, obviously moved.

"I haven't seen her in two years…I thought she was…"

"She's fine, Eric. I promise" Dan said "Are you guys going to stay here for long?"

"Until you agree to come back with me" Jenny answered.

Dan sighed "I am not going anywhere, Jenny. You can go back and tell Chuck Bass to stick his lawsuit up his ass. Perhaps it'll be the wakeup call he needs to understand that Blair doesn't want anything to do with him, anymore"

"He knows where you are, Dan" Jenny said "I'm surprised he didn't beat us here. Now, show me my room"

"Jenny, we agreed that we were going to stay at a hotel" Eric said, stopping her from moving.

"That was before I had the confirmation that he was with _her_" Jenny replied, shamelessly pointing at Blair.

Blair rolled her eyes, and went into Dan's room, ignoring them all. She lied on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Chuck knew where she was, and he seemed pretty determined to have her back. She wasn't sure how she felt about it. She was angry. She was a bit scared. But mostly, she was disappointed. She had given him everything, all of her love. And he still treated her like she was the worst human being for choosing once Dan over him. He didn't understand, nobody did. Not Nate, not Serena, no one except perhaps Dorota.

Nobody ever understood, because nobody was there for the moments when Dan was. Nobody saw the way he was looking at her, and nobody could feel the way his hands felt on her back, when he was comforting her. The only thing everybody understood, was that the Blair Dan had fallen for was a complete illusion, an idealized version of her. And she couldn't agree more. She was nothing like the girl Dan used to loved, perhaps still loved, sometimes.

The door of the room pushed open, and Dan quietly made his way inside.

"They're gone" he said, in a low voice.

Blair didn't answer, kept watching the ceiling.

"I'm sorry about what Jenny said" he said, sitting next to her on the bed.

"Everything she said was true" Blair shrugged "I am twenty three and I am almost divorced twice. Once with a prince, and the other time with the man who cost me my marriage with the prince."

Dan watched her as she put her hand over her eyes, and laughed bitterly.

"God, I am a joke" she whispered.

Dan put a hand on her arm, stroking it gently.

"Don't be so hard on yourself" he said.

Blair took her arm away, and turned on the side, showing him her back.

"I'm sorry, I know this is your room, but…I need to be alone"

Dan looked at her, immobile. Then she felt him get off the bed and heard him close the door behind him. She sighed, trying to relax, then tensed more when she felt him lie down next to her. He put an arm around her waist and closed his eyes. Blair twisted her neck to look at him.

"What are you doing?" she asked "I said I wanted to…"

"We both know that we're not good at being alone, Blair" Dan said, his eyes still closed "Especially when you're in that kind of state. So I'll stay here, until your self-esteem goes up"

Blair rolled her eyes, finding him utterly annoying for not respecting her request of being miserable. However, she settled against him and closed her eyes. Dan didn't mean to fall, asleep. He wanted to stay there with her until she felt better.

But then she is screaming at Serena, almost bumping into him, expressing her frustration at his sight. The fight was violent, and Dan realizes that everything he knows about those two girls is perhaps a simple illusion. After Serena tells him off, he thinks of going home. But on his way out, he spots her. She is sitting all by herself on the floor, looking lost and hurt. There is not much he can do, he thinks, but he does feel sorry for her. Besides, he heard her story, and he can relate.

His footsteps turn in her direction, and he really hopes he is not going to regret this.

"Serena sent you here to talk to me?"

"No, believe it or not, I actually came here myself"

He talks, rambles really, lets out feelings that he has been keeping in for a while now. She listens to him with this look on her face, like she doesn't want to, but can't help it.

"Dan?"

Dan was dragged out of his dream by Blair shaking his shoulder. Before he could open his eyes, she gave him a little slap.

"Ouch! Blair, what the hell?"

"You said my name?"

Dan propped himself on one elbow to look at her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Right now, you just said my name in your sleep"

Dan realized that he had been dreaming, dreaming of her of course, and that he might have indeed subconsciously pronounced her name. He sat on the bed, trying to look as casual as possible while Blair examined him precociously.

"Were you dreaming about me?" she asked.

Dan shrugged "Kind of, yes"

"What do you mean, kind of?"

"Yes, alright, I was dreaming about you."

A smug smile broke onto Blair's face, and Dan pointed his finger at her.

"But it didn't mean anything, okay? But I dream of you from time to time"

"You do?" Blair seemed interested "Are they sex dreams?" she asked suspiciously

"No" Dan shook his head, rolling his eyes "They are more like memories. Memories of you, and other people"

"But mostly me"

"Yes, Blair" he sighs, reluctant to play her game "Mostly you"

Blair goes silent, thoughtful, and she leans back against the head of the bed.

"We're going out for dinner with Jenny and Eric" Dan said "Let's get ready"

As if they had never stopped doing it, they undressed in front of each other and Blair started to sort out the perfect outfit for them. Dan sat on the bed, in his boxers and pretended to listen, while he really was trying to keeps his eyes off her half naked body. In the middle of doing mental pros and cons between two shirts for him, Blair noticed the way he was looking at her. She put the shirts aside with a smile and walked closer to him.

Wary, Dan pushed himself backward on the bed, away from her. Blair put a hand on his shoulder and nudged his legs opens with her knee so she could stand between them. Dan was looking at her like he was scared, it made her laugh.

"You know" she said, her voice luscious and grazing the tip of her fingers on his neck "I bet no one will mind if we are a little late for dinner"

"Jenny will end me" Dan replied. He swallowed with difficulty when Blair took his hands to put them on her hips.

"Who cares about this brat?" Blair said.

She leaned forward to kiss him just behind his hear, at the start of his jaw. Dan groaned.

"I want you" she whispered "That's all you should care about"

Perhaps she was right, Dan thought. No one would miss them at dinner. Besides, it didn't have to take all night. A few kisses here and there, then, in and out and it was a done deal.

Blair smiled when she saw that he was considering her offer, and before he could change his mind, she dropped on her knees in front of him. Dan's breath got trapped in his throat, and he watched, tense with anticipation as her hands traveled up his thighs and settled on his hips, grabbing his boxers.

"Guys, we're gonna have to…" Nate stopped in the middle of his sentence, his hand still on the doorknob.

Dan was paralyzed, mortified and Blair rolled her eyes, standing back up. Then Nate started screaming.

"My eyes ! My eyes!" he ran away, leaving the door open, and Serena appeared, already dressed.

"Were you having sex?" she asked, grinning.

Blair didn't answer, but walked to close the door to her face. Then she took one of the two shirts she was holding earlier, and tossed it at Dan before starting to get dressed herself.

Eric and Jenny's hotel restaurant had a beautiful view over the bay of Willemstad and Eric got them a table right on the balcony. They could hear the tide crashing lightly on the shore. Serena and Eric cried when they saw each other. She hugged him as tight as her stomach would allow her, and stroked his hair, saying "My baby" over and over again. The others witnessed the scene, touched by the emotion and at one point, Dan looked over at Jenny. She looked back at him, and stuck out her tongue.

"Mom is going to be so relieved" Eric said as they were all taking seats. "We have been really worried about you"

"How is she doing?" Serena asked.

Eric shrugged "She and Bart are getting divorced" he said "They've been having problems. I guess you can't really trust someone who faked his own death, right?"

Jenny snorted, and Dan gave her a warning look.

"I didn't say anything" she replied, looking down to her menu.

"I'm really sorry to hear that" Serena said

"She'll forget about it as soon as she sees you" Eric took her hand in his "Speaking of…when are you guys coming back?"

They all looked for the answer in each other's eyes.

"Dan and I still have the house for a couple of weeks" Nate said "And the baby is going to come soon, so Serena can't take the plane yet"

Eric nodded "Jenny and I will stay until the baby comes."

He turned to Dan and Blair, sitting next to each other, with an awkward smile.

"What about you two? You do know…people…are looking for you, right?"

Blair sat up straight in her chair.

"I'm staying with Serena, no matter what" she said.

Serena smiled at her, grateful, then all the glances turned to Dan. On the surface, he didn't have any reasons to stay in Curacao, if the police was ordering him to come back to New York. However, he decided to be honest with everyone, and with himself.

"I'm staying with Blair" he said.

Jenny rolled her eyes, and took a large gulp from her glass of wine. As usual, Serena dozing off was their cue that the night was over. They hugged Jenny and Eric good night, with promises to spend time with them the following day, and took a taxi home.

Blair naturally followed Dan to his room, and they changed in their pajamas. Dan slid under the bed sheets, putting a distance between him and Blair who was doing the same. She settled her head comfortably against the pillow, smiling at him.

"You're not going to try to have sex with me, are you?"

Blair laughed out loud at his worried face.

"No, Humphrey. I am too tired for that. The next time we do it, I want it to last for hours. Like that time, when it started in your kitchen in Brooklyn, and somehow ended in mine, at the penthouse"

Dan felt a familiar twitch in his lower body at the memory.

"There won't be a next time" he said.

"You're adorable" Blair replied, closing her eyes.

He watched her as she fell asleep, a hint of a smile on her face. She looked so peaceful; he felt a bit of pride taking over his heart that he somehow had something to do with it. Eventually, he fell asleep too.

The wake up was brutal. A loud noise made him jump up off his slumber, and he wasn't fully aware of anything but Blair doing the same next to him. A repetitive metallic sound was ringing through the house.

"What is going on?" Blair hissed, half panicked, half pissed.

The door banged open, and they saw Serena in her pajamas, hitting a stewing pot with a wooden spoon.

"Wake up! Wake up!" she said loudly "My water broke!"

"What?" Blair got swiftly off the bed, walking toward her "Are you serious?"

"No"

Blair shot her a confused glance while Dan convinced himself not to hit a pregnant woman.

"But it could happen any day, now, and at any time of the day" Serena explained "You guys need to be prepared. I'll do it again, tomorrow"

"You're insane" Dan whispered and Blair nodded.

Serena simply air-kissed them both, and went away. Blair dragged herself back into bed, while Dan lied back down.

"Pregnancy does not suit her" he mumbled, and Blair groaned in agreement.

About fifteen minutes later, Blair sat up in bed, crossing her arms. She couldn't sleep anymore. She looked at Dan who had his eyes fixed on the window. He felt Blair's glance over him, and turned to her.

"Wanna go for an early walk?"

They dressed each other warmly enough to endure the fresh wind of the tropical dawn, and walked to the beach together, without a word. Dan showed her his favorite spot, and they just sat in the sand, watching the sun rise.

"I am never going to be able to live in New York, after that" Dan said, looking at the horizon.

"You wouldn't last three months without a Brooklyn bagel"

Dan chuckled, because she was right. She still knew him pretty well.

"Had any more of those dreams?" Blair asked, smug.

"I don't dream of you every time I fall asleep, Blair"

_Not when you sleep next to me, anyway._

Blair nodded, started weaving her fingers through the sand around her.

"I don't have my nightmares when I sleep next to you" she confessed with a little voice.

She was expecting Dan to act like her, and give her shit about it. But when she looked at him, he was just focused on the sea.

"Good" he simply said.

When the sun was halfway up in the sky, they decided to go back, because they were hungry and that leaving Nate alone with Serena just seemed cruel. They walked again in silence, Blair arms crossed and Dan with his hands in his pockets. At some point, Blair got closer to him and locked her arms with one of his, holding tight onto him. Dan let her, and a leftover of their relationship pushed him to place a kiss on the top of her head.

They were approaching the house when they both saw that something was off. There was a car parked in front of it, a BMW, that they knew didn't belong to any of them. Dan and Blair both stopped walking, looking at it.

"Blair" Dan said

"I know" she replied.

One of the car doors opened, and Chuck got out, wearing a suit too heavy for the climate of the island. He looked at them, from afar, then leaned against the car, arms crossed, waiting.

Blair took a deep breath. She felt ready to face him. She left Dan's arm and started walking, but he took her wrist to stop her.

"Let me go, Dan" she said, turning around.

"What are you going to say?" he asked. "What are you going to do?"

He released despite him his hold on her, but she didn't move away. She got closer to him.

"What I must" she answered.

It didn't appease Dan. He had the feeling she was planning something that he wasn't going to like. Blair smiled at him, and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek.

"I want you to know" she started whispering "that I am forever grateful, for everything that you've done for me. No one has ever been this good to me, Dan. And you deserve more than anyone to be happy"

"Blair…"

She didn't listen, but turned around, and he watched her walk toward Chuck with a determined step.

* * *

_Uh oh. What's gonna happen? I am actually really enjoying the next chapter, where Dan and Blair have this kind of talk that I've been dying to write in a fanfiction, and I'm going to give away everything that happened in Blair's life for the past two years. So, bear with me?_

_Three chapters to go, then I'll be focused on my new fic _La Bohème_, and on the new one that I'm working on, which is called _Square One_. _

_After those, I think it'll be time for me to retire from the Dair fanfiction world, but you know, there is saying it, and doing it._

_In any case, ya'll will always have a place in my Dairloving heart._

_Love_

_xo_


	9. Chapter 9

_When did this arrive to chapter nine? And just to think that I added one to what was originally planned._

_I don't have a lot of things to say about this chapter, just that it's solving part of the drama, and it's good, because it was becoming tiring for me to write, but I hope not for you to read._

_Hope you'll enjoy it._

_This chapter is dedicated to all of my readers, especially **Magnus57**, **Rf, and horchata** who are always there to say wonderful things about my stories._

* * *

Dan watched from afar Blair walking toward Chuck. They started talking, but neither of them seemed angry. He couldn't really tell what they were feeling based on their expressions. Then, he saw Chuck opening the car door, and Blair got in, without looking back. Chuck did look at him, before getting inside after Blair, and the car drove away from the house.

It was only when the car disappeared down the hill that Dan started walking again. He found Nate sitting in the living room with a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Serena woke you up too?" Nate asked with an apologetic smile.

Dan nodded, and went to sit next to him.

"Is Blair asleep?"

"Blair is with Chuck"

Nate frowned, waiting for Dan to explain.

"We went for a walk, and when we got back, Chuck was waiting in front of the house. She went with him"

Nate gave him his cup of coffee, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry, man"

"For what?" Dan chuckled bitterly, taking a sip "We knew he was coming. He is her husband"

Nate didn't say anything. Dan was tired. He needed to go back to bed, and pretend that the house didn't feel already empty without Blair's presence. He went back to his room, and the first thing he saw was her baby doll laying on the bed, where she had left it. He saw her book on the bedside table, a pair of hills in front of his dresser.

When he lied under the cover, he took in her smell on the other pillow. He reached without thinking to roam his palm on the spot she had been sleeping in for the past two weeks. He let his hand lay there, and fell asleep this way.

Dan is well aware that if he masters the art of overthink, Blair is the inventor of the overreaction. That's why she left tonight, her face carrying the signs of her disappointment. So, the salon didn't go as they had planned, but it wasn't really their fault. Of course everyone they didn't invite crashed the party and brought their drama with them, turning the whole point of the evening. Of course Chuck had to discover Diana Payne was his mother on that particular night.

Still, Dan thinks that controlling those kind of things will always be out of their reach. They need to learn how to live with it, because it's part of their world.

He packs an overnight bag, hoping he is making the right decision. Then he sits on his bed, waiting, thinking about how long it would take her to cool off before he can go. When he arrives in front of her room, the door is open. She is sitting in front of her dressing table, brushing her long brown curls. Dan is mesmerized. Then she turns to him and tells something that could be a joke, but doesn't sound quite like it. Finally, Dan gathers his courage.

"I was hoping that I would sleepover with you"

Once he is able to tell her what he thinks, and what he hopes for them, she nestles against him, he can see she is appeased. The way her fingers grab his jacket is worth spending a night making small talk with people he doesn't know, neither care about at the Met Ball.

Right before she falls asleep, after much bickering, Dan kisses her, and she rests her head on his chest while their legs intertwine. Dan closes his eyes too. He could get used to this.

Dan woke up alone, his hand still lying next to him. He moved a little, trying to convince his body to wake up with him, but he just felt numb. There was a knock on his door, but before he could say anything the door opened.

"Hey, man" Nate said "Blair is back here. She wants to talk to us"

Nate didn't really need to say much more, Dan was up on his feet and walking past him to the living room. Serena was sitting, Blair was standing. She was wearing a classy dress, breaking the casual appearance she had had since she arrived, a pearl necklace was on her neck and had a pair of heels matching her handbag. There was a man, wearing sunglasses and standing straight at the front door.

"Who's that?" Dan asked pointing at the man.

Blair looked at the man, then back to Dan.

"He's Alfonso" she said "My bodyguard"

Nate frowned, Dan didn't know what to say, and Serena snorted.

"What? Is Chuck afraid that we're going to eat you or something?" she said, rubbing her stomach.

"It's not…just listen to what I have to say"

Nate went to sit next to Serena, and Dan crossed his arms, waiting, never looking anywhere but at her.

"Chuck and I are staying at the Grand Hotel, near the bay. And he agreed to stay here until the baby comes, so I can be with you" Blair said, looking at Serena.

"But you won't be here" Serena replied, pouting "What about the water-breaking rehearsal?"

"Chuck brought me my cellphone, so you can call me day and night, I will be there"

"And what about after?" Nate asked.

Blair looked at the three of them "Once the baby is there, we will be going back to Germany, then Switzerland to sort out things. Then back to New York. Chuck said he didn't mind living at the penthouse while we look for an apartment"

"You can't be serious"

They all turned to Dan, because he was speaking for the first time.

"You're doing this again, Blair? After everything you told me has happened?"

"We apologized to each other, and it went better than I had expected" Blair said "I want to try and fix things with him"

"It won't work" Dan snapped "It never works, Blair. You may have forgiven him, and he may have forgiven you but it doesn't mean you have to go back to be with him because it won't work. Why would you be willing to go through that again?"

"What do you expect me to do, Dan?" Blair answered with the same tone. "I cannot be divorced twice, at twenty three years old. If there is any chance of making it work, I am going to take it"

"We don't give a shit about how many times you've been divorced, Blair…"

"No, you listen to me" Blair walked closer to him, as if it would make him understand better "I sacrificed everything for this relationship; you would know. I am not going to throw it away, because then, all I gave up for it will come back and slap me in the face; and then I will be left with absolutely nothing"

"Is having nothing worse than having something that could destroy you?" Dan countered and stepped closer too. "Well, good luck living with him, good luck trying to be happy while hoping he doesn't trade you for anything, while hoping he doesn't push you against a wall. If there is too much pressure, perhaps you could go back to sticking your fingers down your fucking throat to lose the weight you took for him"

Dan heard Serena gasp, but he could only look at Blair. Her eyes had filled with tears and her skin was pale. She shook her head at him, she was clearly disappointed.

"I'll send someone to take my stuff" she said, her voice stiff "We're done here"

She left, the bodyguard following and Dan stood at exactly the same place, listening to the car starting and driving away. Nate was the first one to talk.

"Dude…"

Before he could say anything else, Serena stood up and went to slap Dan so hard that his head turned. He didn't look back as Serena made her way to the bedrooms. Then Nate went to stand in front of him, crossing his arms.

"She deserved it" Dan said in a pointless attempt to turn off the instant guilt.

"She didn't" Nate said "And you know it"

He followed Serena to their bedroom, and Dan resigned to lock himself into his.

Blair never came back. Just like she said, someone went to take her things that Serena had packed for her, and that was the last of Blair Waldorf for Dan in Curaçao, and perhaps forever. He didn't get out of his room for two days, except to eat, making sure to choose to get to the kitchen very early, or very late so he wouldn't see neither of Serena nor Nate. Once when he didn't pay attention, he heard them talking in the kitchen; he heard Serena telling Nate she hated Chuck for taking Blair away, and she hated Dan for preventing her to come back. Dan was then hit by what he already knew. He hadn't told Blair some harsh truth. He had basically told her that the place she could always come to whenever she was scared or felt alone no longer existed.

So the only times Dan made public appearances was when Jenny and Eric visited, because then, he had at least two people to talk to. He told Jenny about what happened, and Jenny didn't scorn him, nor tried to imply what he had done was right. She simply took him in her thin arms, and told him "It's gonna be okay". What was "it", Dan didn't know.

Serena woke him up at three in the morning, one night, banging the pots and gave him a dirty look before going back to bed. She didn't talk to him, but Dan felt relieved when he heard in his sleep the metallic racket. If Serena was training him, it meant she still wanted him around, when the time came.

He was still dreaming of her, still dreaming of them, drowning every single night in a world tormented by her smile, her eyes and her words.

It had been about five days since Blair had gone that Dan finally left his room at the end of the morning. Nate was watching a movie on the couch, and he smile when he saw Dan.

"How was your room? Did you bring back pictures?"

Dan sat on one of the chairs "I'm sorry" he said.

Nate shrugged "I'm getting used to your disappearing inspired author things. It's cool"

"No, I meant I'm sorry for the other day" Dan precised.

Nate nodded slowly, and stood up "It's cool, man. Besides, I'm not really the one you should be apologizing to."

Dan nodded too.

"Wanna smoke?" Nate asked, going through his stash in one of the books placed in the library. "It'll probably be my last, and Serena is not around so…"

"Sure. Wait, where is Serena?"

Nate coughed awkwardly "Oh, you know. She went shopping with Blair."

Dan sat up in his chair. His mind was starting to work in an unexpected way.

"Serena is with Blair" he repeated. Then he looked at Nate flashing an apologetic smile "Sorry, man gotta go"

"What?" Nate watched as Dan made his way to the front door "If you're going to see them, it's a bad idea" he shouted to Dan's back.

"I'm not!" Dan answered.

He started walking downtown, looking around for the Grand Hotel, rehearsing sentences in his head. He had rarely felt so determined, and it was what fueled his intention. He didn't care if Blair wasn't talking to him, anymore. He was bringing her back.

Dan arrived at the Grand Hotel, and walked straight to the front desk.

"Hi, could you tell Mr. Bass that Dan Humphrey is here to see him, please?"

The girl nodded with a mandatory smile and picked up the phone to dial. She talked to Chuck, and went back to Dan.

"Mr. Bass says Mrs. Bass isn't present at the moment"

Dan's body tensed at _Mrs. Bass._

"Well, that's good because if I recall, he's the one I asked for"

The girl seemed to perceive the tension, and her v oice was a little shaky when she repeated what he had said to Chuck. Then she hung up.

"Fifth floor, suite number three" she said.

When Dan knocked on the door, it took about thirty seconds to open. He had clenched his fist to knock again and the door clicked and he saw Chuck.

"What do you want, Humphrey?"

"I assume you still care about Lily, right?" Dan said, walking past him, well aware that he had never been invited to get in.

"What are you talking about?" Chuck stayed next to the open door.

Dan turned to face him "If you still care about Lily, then you must know that she is miserable. She chose to stay in the marriage she had with your father that was already rocky before he…fake died, and now she is miserable."

"Are you telling me she should've chosen to stay with your father?"

"I do" Dan said "And I think you know it perfectly"

Chuck didn't counter, just looked at Dan with narrowed eyes.

"What's your point, Humphrey?"

"Lily, right now, it's Blair in about twenty years, if she stays with you."

Chuck snorted, put a hand in his pocket.

"So you're using that parallel to prove that the Humphreys always deserve the girl, and that the Basses are just scums that will screw them over."

"No exactly" Dan shook his head "My father was perfect for Lily, it's basically common knowledge. But I know now that neither of us is good enough for Blair. We both have the love, that's undeniable. We both love her differently, and I guess those two kinds of love are good, and special, in their own ways. But we both lack of something, and it's patience; the kind she needs to believe that we are standing next to her, through anything. I'm not telling this so I could have her to myself, I'm telling this for her, and for you. Blair is going to stay in this because she is stubborn. You're the one who need to tell her that it's over, so she'll believe it. She came here, because she thought I could help her. And I let her stay, because I had missed her, but I kinda always knew you were the only one that could save her. You always have been. Give her her freedom,Chuck. And be easy. I gave her half of it in the harshest way I could."

When Chuck moved, it was to walk toward the desk in a corner of the suite. Then Dan didn't turn, but didn't move either.

"You can go, Humphrey"

"Did you even listen to me?" Dan asked, because he had played his last card, and he needed to be sure.

After a beat, Chuck answered "I did"

And Dan sighed, only half relieved. He moved to the door, and did turn around.

"Oh and we slept together. Twice" he said and Chuck turned around. "There is really no point of telling you that" Dan continued "But it's boosting my ego in some weird way; I bet you never thought your wife would cheat on you with a Dan Humphrey"

Right before he closed the door behind him, Dan heard Chuck mutter something that sounded like "You'd be surprised"

It started raining on his way back home.

After dropping off Serena at the house, Blair went back to the hotel. She opened the door to find Chuck sitting in the living room, going through papers. He looked up when he heard her come in.

"Hi" she said

"Hi. Come here"

After a moment, Blair obliged and walked to the couch, wondering if he was going to try to kiss her. They hadn't touched each other ever since he had arrived.

"How is Serena?" he asked, once Blair was sitting.

"Crazy. Radiant." Blair answered.

Chuck nodded and slid the papers in front of Blair on the coffee table.

"What's that?" she asked, taking them between her fingers.

"It's a contract. I engage myself to reimburse Waldorf Designs the totality of what it lent Bass Enterprise within five years."

Blair frowned "I don't understand"

"I'm filing for divorce"

Blair's fingers wrinkled the paper a little. She looked at Chuck. He seemed determined.

"You don't love me anymore, Blair. You haven't ever since you started having nightmares and locking yourself up in the bathroom so I wouldn't hear you cry. You deserve to be with someone who you would want to see you cry. We both do"

Blair was still in shock, but the one thing she perceived was how deep this kind of reflection was for Chuck, and also how sudden it had been.

"Did Humphrey convince you to ask for a divorce?" she asked.

"He did" Chuck nodded "You know him pretty well"

"I am going to kill him" Blair whispered

"That's half of the reason I'm doing this" Chuck said.

He was being humorous, Blair realized. Of course, he could. It was only his first failed marriage. Chuck stood up, and smoothed his tie on his chest, like he always did.

"I have business to take care of overseas" he said "So I'll be leaving, and contact our lawyers so they can take care of…everything. Meanwhile, I know that you want to stay with Serena until she delivers, so I trust you can find a place to stay at"

As he was talking, he went to pour himself a glass of scotch, and Blair didn't reprimand him like she used to, for the past two years. She simply stood up, and went to tear the contract in her hands in front of him. She let the pieces fall in a cloudy movement on the floor.

"I don't want your money, Chuck" she said.

"Blair. You mother stopped talking to you because you gave me…"

"Waldorf Designs doesn't need your money, Chuck. It never did, and it never will. I did what I did because I wanted to help you. I wanted you to succeed, because I loved you" she said. "So if you want to repay me, you turn Bass Enterprise into a firm so big, that it would make your father want to fake his death again. Or not even fake it, for that matter"

She could see Chuck wanted to smile, but restrained, like he always did, so she smiled for him.

"Now, let's not talk about this divorce nonsense anymore, and go have lunch"

Chuck looked at her as if she was crazy.

"What?" she asked.

"I still want to divorce, Blair."

"We can't" she insisted, feeling like stabbing his eyeballs.

"You slept with Humphrey" he said "That's adultery. We are getting divorced, Blair"

Blair bit the inside of her cheek. She really was going to kill Dan. She stayed there, standing in the living room, and Chuck looked at her finishing his glass. She couldn't help thinking that this was probably their last moment together. Unless he would fight her about getting their house in the south of Italy.

She watched as Chuck called a car service and commanded one to take her to an address that had become way too familiar for her. Then he told her that she should get on with packing. She had never really unpacked, because most of her clothes smelled like Dan's room.

It was raining when she saw Chuck for the last time. He kissed her on the cheek, and she did the same, before getting into the car. When it was far enough from the hotel, she started to cry, and told the chauffeur to fuck off when he asked her if she wanted to turn around. She dismissed his help with the luggage when they arrived in front of the house, and dragged her two trunks by herself under the rain, until she was on the threshold.

She was wet, she was cold, and her finger pressed on the doorbell. Nate blinked several times when he saw her, all damp with her things at her feet; then he smiled.

"Talk about a déjà-vu" he said "What are you here for, this time?" he crossed his arms.

Blair couldn't believe he was letting her out under the rain.

"My husband left me" she said "And my friend is having a baby with this douche. This is where I'm supposed to be"

Nate nodded and took her trunks, letting her in.

"We were having lunch in the kitchen" he said, then he took her by the neck and kissed her temple, ignoring how wet she was "Welcome back home" he said.

Blair made her way to the kitchen to find Dan and Serena playing at throwing pieces of bread on each other. They seemed to have sorted out whatever issues they were having. When Serena saw Blair, she didn't seem surprised, just relieved. Blair assumed that Dan had told her what he had done to get back in her good graces.

She sat down without a word, and accepted the plate Nate gave her. She didn't talk as the others were eating, never looked at Dan seating opposite her. She just sat there, enjoying how good it felt to have the three of them back.

After lunch, Nate went to put down Serena for her nap, and left Dan and Blair alone in the kitchen. She still refused to look at him, but she knew he was looking at her with those big, caring, worried brown eyes. She wanted to tell him she hated him, but she didn't really. When she opened her mouth, it wasn't to let out hatred, but to let out a sob. She hadn't even realized she was crying.

Dan reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, but she moved away, dodging his touch. Then he tried to take her hand in his, and she let him, crying harder.

Serena screaming froze them both. There was a moment during which none of them were able to move, then when they heard Nate's voice coming from the room, they both ran over there, almost knocking into walls.

Serena was sitting on the bed, holding her stomach and Nate was kneeling in front of her.

"What's going on?" Dan asked, dreading the answer.

"Her water broke" Nate said.

"It's not right" Serena shook her head "We didn't train for the afternoon, it's not right"

"Okay, baby, I know you trained us for the middle of the night…" Nate started saying.

"For nothing by the way" Dan couldn't help pointing out, and Blair hit him.

"But I'm pretty sure the process is exactly the same" Nate continued "We're taking care of everything, just breathe"

"Oh my God" Serena said "I forgot how to breathe"

"It's very easy, honey" Nate assured "In and out; in and out. You are doing great, baby"

"Stop calling me baby"

Nate turned to Dan and Blair "I already called an ambulance, and her stuff are already there. Are you guys ready for this?"

Dan and Blair nodded, and Nate clapped his hands with a smile.

"Awesome. Let's have a baby"

* * *

_This is the only fic I am going to update within the next to weeks, cause I'm going on vacation and then I'll be super busy with exams and stuff._

_Anyway, I love you guys so much, I'm not even kidding. I could litterally never stop writing, just to interact with all of you._

_Love!_

_xo_


	10. Chapter 10

_Hi lovelies. This is the penultimate chapter to Curaçao Dreaming. That little story I had no idea where it was going, and which is now coming full circle. This is author bittersweet rambling that you're reading right there._

_Not much to say about this chapter, I'll write an essay on my feelings about this fic for the last chapter, next week._

_I really hope you enjoy the reading._

* * *

When they got to the hospital, Eric and Jenny were already there. Serena was instantly taken in, and brought to a room. All the others followed, most of them anxious, Jenny casually typing on her phone.

Serena started getting contractions, but it was merely noticeable to the others. Otherwise, she was just the same Serena, light headed and laughing, making jokes. The only time they were reminded that she was in labor was when she snapped at the nurse who had asked everyone to leave the room. Serena threatened to go have the baby on the beach if the nurse didn't let them stay.

So they stayed with her, playing chess, telling jokes, Eric and Jenny telling about their previous crazy night in a nightclub. Nate was sitting in a chair next to Serena's bed, and he was holding her hand. Dan could see that the grasp was tight, but he didn't know whether it showed Serena's nervousness, or Nate's.

Then the contractions started getting closer, and visibly more painful. At one point, in the middle of listing baby names, Serena cringed. She started pushing the air out of her mouth formed in a silent "o", and she released Nate's hand to extend her arm toward Dan.

"Dan, come here" she said, out of breath.

Dan stood up and went by her side, taking her hand.

"Yes?"

"Wait" Serena said.

She held a cry behind her teeth, and her hand clenched around Dan so hard that he actually screamed in pain and kneeled next to her bed.

"What the hell?" he asked, shocked.

"I didn't want to hurt Nate" she explained, falling back onto the bed.

"Of course, hurting me is never a problem" Dan replied, stroking his hand.

He went back to his chair, and Blair reached to take his wounded hand in hers, giving him a compassionate smile. The nurse came back in the room, with the OBGYN.

The doctor looked at everyone in the room with raised eyebrows "This baby must be special. Serena, you look radiant. I notified the team that you do not wish an epidural. Now would be the time to say it, if you wanted to change your mind."

Serena shook her head.

"You're not getting an epidural?" Blair asked, surprised.

"With my past, I'm not getting high on anything that I can't easily find in a corner of Harlem"

The nursed raised condescendingly her eyebrows at Serena.

"What are you looking at?" Serena barked.

"She's kidding" Nate told the doctor.

"I was hoping so" the doctor said. "I'll come back in half an hour to check how the dilatation is going"

Dan and Eric groaned at the _dilatation_, as the doctor exited with the nurse. Jenny looked up from her cellphone.

"Serena, do you have any idea how long it's gonna take? Because I met this really cute guy, and he's asking me out for a drink"

"No one is going for a drink as long as this baby doesn't get out of me" Serena said "Tell him you'll be available by three in the morning"

"Latest booty call ever" Nate chuckled.

"So you're not a lesbian anymore?" Dan asked Jenny.

"Was I ever?"

"I should have been a lesbian" Serena said, tired "I wouldn't be going through all of this"

"Hey, come on, you're doing great" Nate kissed her on the forehead, stroking her hair "We are going to be so, so happy"

Serena nodded, showing that she believed him. The others exchanged an understanding look.

"We'll leave you guys" Blair said.

Serena protested at first, but they insisted on leaving her to rest as long as she could, with Nate. They all went to sit in the hallway, except for Jenny who left, still typing on her phone.

Dan and Blair sat on either sides of Eric. They were all silent. Eric probably sensed something, because he looked at Dan, then at Blair, and then stood up to go get a coffee. They both stayed there, sitting and saying nothing, with an empty seat between them just like they did when they started going to the movies together. The fact that it happened so long ago, and that so much happened since then makes those outings look like a dream. A bit of a fantasy.

"Why did you do it?" Blair asked, not looking at him.

Dan knew she was talking about him going to Chuck, and took his time to answer "Because I wanted you to get what you deserve"

"So you think I deserve to die alone?"

"I think you deserve to die happy"

Another silence. Blair read something about those kinds of moments. When there is a silence that is neither awkward, neither tensed, but just there, some cultures say that it's because an angel is flying by. She really wished that if it was true, one would stop and give her guidance. Then she thought, what the hell, she was Blair Waldorf. She'd get her answers herself.

"I am not sure I understand, Dan. What do you want from me?"

Dan looked at her "I don't want anything from you, Blair. Not anymore. But I've reached this point where I know that being mad at you, and hating you won't solve anything. I made a mistake, a long time ago, and now I'm fixing it."

Blair held her breath, released it a bit later.

"Why are you saying that we were a mistake?"

Dan shook his head "I know that it seems narrow-minded and invalid to say that, but I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you, Blair. I don't really know how it happened, but I wasn't supposed to. I should have known that we would want different things, that you would never really love me back."

Blair swallowed the lump in her throat and she didn't say anything else. Dan reached over to take her hand in his.

"I'm not saying I regret it. I still really care about you, you know that. It just would have been much better if we had stayed friends; we were great at that. But you know, I don't even think I would have been able to. I tried so many times to kill it, what I felt. But each time it seemed like I was starting to move on, you showed up at my door. Even in the middle of the Atlantic."

Blair laughed a little at that.

"And then, you…" Dan searched for the right words to express his sentiment, but found his thoughts too tangled to form the right sentence. So he decided to borrow one "…you kind of happen to me all over again"

Blair moved from her seat to the one right next to him. She took his arm and passed it around her shoulders, resting her head on his chest. She heard his breathing deepen, and she felt his heartbeat quicken, taping lightly on her cheek.

"I promise to stop then" she said "Someday"

Dan chuckled, and hesitated before pressing a kiss on her temple.

"Take your time"

Eric came back with his coffee, and took Blair's previous seat. He didn't comment their position, but he had the ghost of a smile on his face.

They all stood up two hours later when Serena was moved to the delivery room. They watched her go, all sweaty and scared, and gave her a little kiss. Nate gave them a nervous smile as he followed the nurses rolling Serena's chair.

Night was starting to fall, and the more stars became visible in the sky, the more anxious Blair got. She wished she could be with Serena. She wished the knot in her stomach weren't so tight. Even Dan stroking gently her back didn't reassure her. She wouldn't be until Nate would come and tell them that everything was okay.

Eric fell asleep. Jenny came back, a dreaming smile on her face.

"How is everything going?" she asked in a whisper not to wake up Eric.

"We don't know" Dan said

She shrugged "I'm sure we would have heard if something was wrong. So Dan, I received an e-mail. Guess who's playing in the best club of Soho in two weeks?"

She waited for Dan to raise his eyebrows in inquiry to answer

"Lincoln Hawk"

"What?" Dan sat up, smiling "You're kidding. They want to play again?"

"I actually know some people who would like to see them play, so I arranged it" Jenny nodded "We could turn this into a family trip"

"Definitely" Dan nodded, already excited "Wait, when you say Soho, you mean…"

"Soho of London, of course" Jenny said "Dad will stay at a hotel with the group, and you can crash on my couch. There are a couple of things I'd like to show you in London, so it's fine if you stay a little longer"

Dan sighed in front of Jenny's umpteenth attempt to lure him out of New York, and far from the Upper East Side. He didn't look at Blair who was certainly listening to their conversation.

"I'll think about it" he said.

Jenny looked as if she was about to insist, but she widened her eyes, focusing over Dan's shoulder.

"Nate" she said in a trapped breath.

Dan and Blair turned around swiftly, and Jenny shook Eric's arm lightly. Nate looked pale. Dan's throat went dry.

"What happened?" he asked.

Nate put a hand on his face, and took a deep breath.

"I'm…" he swallowed with difficulty "I'm still in shock, I'm sorry. It's a girl. They're both doing great"

All the others rushed to him and surrounded him with a hug.

"Congratulations!" Dan said "You gave us a little scare, man"

"Oh, thank God" Blair whispered, a relieved smile on her face.

"When can we see her?" Eric asked, impatience in his voice.

"I came here to get you" Nate said "They transferred her to her room, follow me"

He turned around and started walking, back straight and looking ahead of him. Dan started walking next to him as the other followed.

"Are you okay, man?" Dan asked "You don't look very well"

"I'm good" Nate simply said "It's this way"

"If you're scared, it's normal. I remember what I felt when Milo was born, but it doesn't last. You are going to be crazy about this little girl in about a short hour"

Nate stopped in front of a door, and put his hand on the handle. Then he burst out laughing, right there and Dan looked at the others, alarmed.

"Oh my God!" Nate said between two laughs "This is amazing. You guys are _not going to believe this_"

He pushed the door opened and stand to the side to let them enter, smiling at their suspicious and wary looks.

Serena was in her bed, much refreshed, and she looked tired. She had a little pink bundle in her arms and she smiled at them.

"Hi guys. Meet Summer" she said in a quiet voice.

They all approached quietly, slowly, as if their sole presence could hurt the little being. Then they leaned to see the baby in the blanket. And a heavy silence fell onto the room. Dan had expected to find her instantly beautiful. And he did. There was just this one thing about her

"Serena…"he said, well aware that he was about to state the obvious; but that kind _needed_ to be stated "…your baby is black."

They heard Nate giggle in their backs, and Serena rolled her eyes.

"She is not black" she said "Obviously, she's biracial. And at least, now I know who the father is"

Serena nuzzled her daughter's tiny forehead.

"Besides, who cares? She is perfect"

Blair got closer, and looked at the milk chocolate skinned baby.

"She really is" she told Serena. "You're a mom, S"

They smiled at each other. Eric kissed Serena on the top of her head, and she let him take Summer in his arms, officially introducing him to his niece.

They all left after ten minutes, because the baby was taken to the nursery and Serena needed to sleep. Nate decided to stay at the hospital with her, so Dan and Blair took a taxi home after telling Jenny and Eric goodnight.

They both kept whispering things like "amazing" or "incredible" or "only Serena" during the ride. Blair had this lingering smile on her face. She put her head against Dan's shoulder. He was looking out the window, at the full moon.

"You can stop there" he told the taxi driver.

The car stopped, and Dan got out, taking Blair's hand. While he paid their ride, Blair looked around. She had gotten accustomed to the town well enough to know they weren't near the house.

"Humphrey, what are you doing?" she asked, as the cab drove away.

Dan took back her hand, dragging her with him toward the beach. The moon was reflecting on the water, painting in with a white stain, and a paler blue than usual nights.

"I realized that you've been here for a month, and that you never had a swim"

He left her hand once they reached the sand. Blair crossed her arms, watching him tug his shirt off.

"I don't think it's a good idea" Blair said.

"It's one in the morning, Blair. No one is going to see you except me. And if it's about the weight thing, I think I've already made pretty clear that I still find you sexy as hell. Or you don't remember the showering adventure?"

Blair bit back a smile, but didn't move. Dan took his shoes and pants off.

"Alright" he said, standing in his underwear "Just stay there like a prude, I'm going in"

Dan started walking toward the water, wondering if she would finally follow his lead. Then he saw Blair walking past him to the water and stopped short. She was naked. She turned around to give him a devious smile before getting into the water. Once Dan was able to think again, he ran toward her, catching her on the way and plunging them into the sea.

He thought she would scold him for it, but when they got back to the surface, she was laughing.

"It's so cold" she said, putting her arms around her.

"Come here" Dan reached to pull her against him

She put her arms around his neck, and her legs around his waist, and Dan wished he had taken off his boxers before getting in. He could only imagine how blissful it would feel to make love to her in the water, with the moon watching them.

"You're not going back to New York, are you?" she asked in a soft voice.

Dan looked at her, and shook his head. Blair ran an affectionate hand over his face, and on his wet hair.

"I think you're going to like London" she said

"I think so too. But I'm going to miss you" he pressed a kiss on her shoulder.

"No you're not"

"Of course, I will. I always miss you"

Blair got closer bringing their naked chest together under the water, and kissed him, mouth open, tongues meeting.

"You can't possibly miss me, now" she said when she pulled away.

"Not me entirely, but a specific part of me sure does, right now" Dan said.

He looked goofy and unashamed, and it made Blair laugh. She put her hand on his cheek.

"You know, just because I never said it doesn't mean I never loved you. I just loved Chuck more"

What she said didn't hurt Dan. It was the first time she was being completely honest with him about their relationship, and about Chuck. He gave her a kiss.

"I know" he said "I got that, and although I'm not sure I understand, I don't contest. It's your heart, and it's always belonged to him"

"That's where you're wrong" Blair brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes "I loved Chuck, and the very powerful idea of our love. He came with a concept. Same for Louis. Same for Nate. You're the only one I ever loved with my heart. And I know I still do, in a way"

It was the second time Blair had ever left him truly speechless; and just like the first, it was with the confession that he had her heart. He kissed her, on the mouth, on the cheek, on the neck, on the jaw, everywhere he could reach without getting away from her.

"Let's go back to the house" she said between gasps, as he chose to focus on a spot behind his ear "I want to make love to you"

Dan groaned, and started walking out of the water, his face still buried against her neck. He put her down only when he reached their clothes on the sand. Blair only put her dress on, and kept her underwear and shoes in her hand. They longed the beach hand in hand until they got at the bottom of the little hill on which the house was perched. As Blair had sand on her feet and didn't want to put her shoes back on, Dan took her on his back. She pressed kisses on his shoulders and smiled against the skin on the back of his neck.

In his room, they got rid of each other's clothes and fell onto the bed together. Blair took his wrist when she felt his hand go up her thigh.

"I said I wanted to make love to you" she told him, interrupted by his kisses.

She pushed him by the shoulders onto the bed, and straddled him, kissing his chest. Dan's hand rested on her back, then her shoulder when she made her way lower. His stomach dipped in a pleasured spasm when she kissed it, and she felt his erection harden against her breast.

Blair kept her eyes on him as she took him in her mouth. Dan's hand went from her shoulder to her hair, fingers weaving through it, grazing against her scalp. His eyes were closed, his mouth slightly open, letting out a series of short breaths. She felt his fingers clench on her hair, and she opened her mouth to take more of him, getting the message. Dan groaned, and passed his free arm behind his head. He seemed to incredibly relaxed, at this moment; more than she had seen him in a month.

His hand left her hair and he leaned forward to bring her back up on him.

"I want you, Blair" he said, taking one breast in his mouth.

Blair whimpered, and guided him inside of her, yelping at the bite he gave her nipple when he was buried inside of her. He lay back on the bed, as she starting rocking her hips above him. Their eyes locked, both dark and heavy; he groaned while she moaned, they were like the same person.

Blair made her movements more diligent, insistent, making sure that his shaft would be each time in this angle that seemed to drive him crazy. She watched as he closed his eyes, and took her hands in his, starting to move with her. Then his entire body shot upright and he pulled her against him, moaning and shuddering against her breasts as he shot his release inside of her.

Dan fell back on the bed, completely spent and watched with hazy eyes Blair taking care of herself on top of him. Her hair was still humid, sticking on her skin and her cheeks were flushed. He wanted to help her out, but he couldn't move, under the effect of the post-climax numbness and the sight of her, naked above him, on the road to completion.

He did eventually manage to lift one arm to rub one of her breasts and Blair's body tensed, crying out his name. She fell on top of him, out of breath, and he let her, stroking her back as she was coming down from her height. Neither of them could tell who fell asleep first after that.

Dan is awoken by Nate shaking his shoulder.

"Come on, man. The jet is scheduled to leave in thirty minutes, we gotta go"

Dan has a bit of a hard time waking up completely. It is strange that he is all dressed up, and that Nate doesn't make any comment about Blair in his bed.

"Dan?" Nate leans over him on the bed "We gotta go, Serena and the baby are already over there"

Dan blinks. Serena and the baby are where, exactly? What jet?

"Are you okay?" Nate asks. He looks worried.

Dan looks around him. All of his stuff disappeared. The room looks the way it did when they arrived on the island.

"Where are my stuff?" he asks Nate.

"…In your luggage. In the trunk of the car. Which is waiting to take us to the airport"

"What?" Dan feels like someone just hit him with a bat "Where is Blair?"

Nate frowns "What do you mean, where is Blair?"

"She was sleeping next to me"

Nate raises his eyebrows, then a light of understanding passes on his face.

"Dude, you must've had one of those dreams again"

"No, no it's not like that" Dan manages to get up "She arrived here with Serena, like a month ago. It was raining and…"

"And we were playing Monopoly" Nate nods "But Serena was alone, Dan. Blair is still…wherever she is. She's not here. I think you were dreaming again"

Dan shakes his head, refusing to take in what Nate is saying. It's impossible. Nate puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, Dan. It's time to go. You gotta let go of her"

"No" Dan shakes his head again "I won't"

Waking up from that was like merely escaping drowning. Dan's body was covered in sweat and he struggled finding his respiration. The sun was peeking out from the see on the horizon, and he was still naked and still in his bed. But he became almost instantly aware of the fact that Blair wasn't there anymore.

The door opened and Blair, wearing his shirt, entered carrying a tray with two cups and plates. Dan could smell tea and toasts and marmalade. Blair smiled at him at first, then took in his panicked look.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Dan sighed, relieved "I thought you were gone"

Blair went to sit on the bed, putting the tray on his desk beforehand.

"I'm right here" she said

"I know. I just…I had a dream, where everything that's happened since you arrived was a dream. It scared me"

Blair frowned, a bit confused. Then she sat closer to him and took his head between her hands.

"If it is a dream, never stop dreaming of this moment" she told him.

She kissed him, and Dan responded. They stayed this way an instant, lips pressed together, until a light knock on the door separated them.

"It's me" Nate voice came through the door "Are you guys decent?"

"Wait" Dan answered, relieved that Nate had asked.

They both got dressed and Dan went to open the door. Nate smiled lazily at them as he stepped in.

"Hey" he said "Serena insisted that I came back here to sleep a bit. But I really don't like knowing her alone over there, so I was wondering, Blair, do you mind…?"

"Of course not" Blair said, instantly putting on her shoes "Have a rest, I'll go keep an eye on her"

"Thanks" Nate answered, his eyes closed.

Blair took her purse and a sweater of Dan's to protect her from the tropical morning chill. Dan stayed by the door while she got out. She turned around to smile at him.

"Last night was…"

"Yeah" Dan said.

Blair knew they would still have a few days together before they each left the island and went their separate ways, but those few remaining days would probably be full of Summer. She could already see the baby becoming the focus of their four lives. So being there, at Dan's door, felt like a final instant. She was sure he felt it too. She stood on the tip of her toes to kiss him again, softly.

"Goodbye, Dan Humphrey"

Dan took her hand in his, squeezed it, and let her go.

When he closed the door, and turned back around, he saw Nate asleep in his bed. Dan laughed, and went to sit on his desk, taking out his notebook and his pencil. He had just started to write when Nate spoke.

"I know the next months are going to be hard" his voice was tired and muffled by the pillow "And I already know that you'll be there to help me figure things out. So I just wanted to tell you thanks, dude."

Dan smiled "Anytime, man"

When Blair got into Serena's room, she was awake, looking out the window. She smiled when she saw Blair, then inexplicably started crying.

"Hey, there" Blair went to sit on the edge of her bed "Shh" she stroked Serena's cheek "It's okay, Serena. You made it. We made it"

Serena moved to leave room for her, and Blair took the invitation, lying next to her friend. Serena wiped the tears on her face, then took Blair's hand in hers.

"Have you ever imagined what home would be like with a baby?" she asked

"It's going to be fantastic" Blair said "As soon as we get back, I launch a Waldorf Designs baby line. We are going to have so much fun. We are going to be so happy"

"Blair, I really think so. I really think we'll be happy"

"Of course we will"

Blair wrapped her arms around Serena, breathed in her familiar scent. The one she associated with friendship.

"I am so fucking tired" Serena chuckled "I couldn't really sleep last night. I couldn't believe I am a mom"

Blair laughed with her "You are a mom, yes. Now, sleep. I'm here"

Serena closed her eyes.

"I love you, B"

"I love you too, S"

* * *

_This was without any doubts my favourite chapter of this fic to write. What did you think of it?_

_Next fic update is La Bohème (yay!)._

_Love, xo._


	11. Chapter 11

_Hi lovelies! Here it is, the final one. Not much to say except thanks for reading, and fair warning this thing is so fluffy that your vision might actually turn pink when you're done reading it. I remember someone telling me that this fic somehow felt canon, well it stops right there. Actually, I think it stopped from the moment where Serena had a black baby :)_

_ Anyway, I really really hope you enjoy this one, and I hope you'll read my other fics too!_

* * *

It took Dan only three words to know what his life was supposed to be.

A few days after Summer was born, they all said goodbye to the island of Curaçao. Nate, Serena, the baby Eric and Blair got on the jet. Dan and Jenny took a flight to London.

Saying goodbye to Nate was harder than what Dan had expected. For two years, it had been only the two of them. Now Nate was a father, someone's life partner; it was him and Serena and the baby, and Dan, alone. When he watched Nate get on the plane, he felt a chapter of his own life ending. Then Blair came, and kissed him on the cheek. What Dan felt was close to what he had felt for Nate; bittersweet, but something about Blair –or everything about her made the moment _unfinished._

Dan liked living in London. It was an active city that reminded him that he was only twenty three, and that he should take advantage of it. So he didn't mind living on Jenny's couch instead of finding a flat of his own. He liked reconnecting this way with his sister. Over the first month, they started to grow their habits, a little routine.

They had a favorite pub, "Puckle's"; and a favorite café "The Muffin House". They would go out every weekend. Dan loved giving Jenny's one-night-stands the threatening big brother look in the morning. And one must never feel more close to their little sister than when sharing a terrible hangover with her. Their Sunday afternoon was what Dan liked the most. They would get up at noon, eat pancakes for lunch, then spend the rest of the day working, Jenny in the little room that she used as an atelier, and Dan with his computer at the kitchen table, both with a bottle of water and some aspirin next to them.

He made himself a little circle of writers, and started writing poetry again. It hadn't since high school, and it felt good to rekindle with the genre. Soon, as people started to know that he was living in London, he got invited to all sorts of fancy literary parties, where he always brought Jenny with him. Once, they bumped into Marla, the journalist. She gave them a dirty look, and Jenny "accidentally" spilled champagne on her. A magazine did a piece on them, the American siblings taking over London with their designs and short stories, and Jenny framed it, hung it in the living room. Rufus did the same, in their Brooklyn loft. Sometimes, Dan would look up from his computer and smile at the picture of him laughing at Jenny sticking maliciously her tongue at him. He realized that he could really settle there when he came back one day, and Jenny had turned her atelier into a bedroom for him.

Dan liked living in London, but he missed New York every day. He didn't like the idea of the city going on without him in it. He didn't like that he missed when Nate's mother passed out when she learned that her son was the adoptive father of Serena's baby with an NBA player. He didn't like that he missed seeing Blair drunk at Chuck's new firm launch party. What stung the most was when Blair texted him a picture of Nate on one knee in front of Serena on a night in Central Park.

But what Dan liked mostly about being in London, was how the distance never affected his relationship with Blair. They were friends again, and it felt so good. She would call him to tell what exhibit he was missing at MoMA. He would drunk dial her sometimes, in the middle of the night for him, the beginning of the evening for her. She would laugh, listening to his intoxicated rambling.

She never visited, because she was busy with getting back to work, expanding Waldorf Designs. He never visited, because he was busy not falling for her again.

Then, when Nate and Serena announced that they set the date on November 2nd, Dan whished Blair wasn't his friend anymore. She called him twice a day, taking way too seriously her Maid of Honor role, turning into a hysterical dictator, and Dan usually put her on speaker, saying "Yeah" and "That's nice" when there was a pause at the other, while doing something completely unrelated.

When Dan landed in New York, two days before the wedding, she summoned him to her penthouse. Leaving Brooklyn in the fresh autumn air to go all the way to the Upper East Side to have breakfast with her still felt much familiar.

He arrived at the penthouse fairly early, to find Dorota waiting for him in the foyer.

"Mister Dan! Let me take your coat" she had a big smile on her face, and Dan was somehow shocked about how good it felt to see her again.

"Hi Dorota. It's been way too long, we need to catch up"

Dorota blushed slightly "It would be nice, Mister Dan"

"Why don't you two get married tomorrow, instead of Nate and Serena?" Blair's voice rang out from the dining room.

Dan winked at Dorota before walking over to Blair. He was surprised when he saw Summer sitting in a baby chair clung to the table.

"Hey" he said, putting his finger in her little fist "Oh my God, look how big you are"

Summer looked at him curiously, because obviously, she didn't know him, but Dan melted anyway. She had brown skin, and curly dark hair with a bow in it, and piercing blue eyes; Serena's eyes. He was so mesmerized by the little being that he had almost forgotten about Blair. When he looked up, he saw Blair staring at them with a light smile on her lips. Dan thought she was beautiful.

"She doesn't know you" Blair said "But she likes you already"

Dan smiled, and walked over to kiss Blair on the cheek. They both closed their eyes at the contact.

"What is she doing here?" Dan asked, taking the seat next to her.

"Serena has a final fitting for her reception dress, and Nate had some work to do"

"Reception dress? How many does she have?"

"Three. One for the rehearsal dinner, one for the ceremony, and one for the reception"

Blair spoke as if she was stating an obvious fact and Dan restrained to roll his eyes. He served himself a pancake, and a cup of coffee.

"So, how have you been?" Blair asked.

"Excellent. You?"

"Great"

Dan nodded. He hesitated before saying;

"You lost weight"

Blair sighed "I did. Do I look better?"

"Jesus, what am I supposed to answer to that?" Dan laughed awkwardly.

"Certainly not 'no'"

Dan laughed "You never stopped looking great, Blair. You know it"

Blair's lips pressed into a smile.

"Well, it's always good to hear"

They started eating, talking a bit about each other's works before Blair remembered she was a maid of honor again. She started questioning Dan about his outfits, and his toasts, wanting to approve everything. Dan didn't make the tiniest effort to hide how annoying he thought she was.

Sometimes, Summer would make funny noises, and innocently laugh at them bickering.

"You like when Auntie Blair is being a control freak, don't you?" Dan asked her.

"She likes when Uncle Dan is making a fool of himself by thinking that a grey suit is appropriate for a rehearsal dinner" Blair pursed her lips.

"Wow. Uncle Dan. When did I become that old?"

"Ugh, I know" Blair shook her head "It's like everything is going too fast in New York. Three months ago, we were doing cocaine on a tropical island"

Dorota, who was walking by, stretched her eyes at Blair's comment. Dan choked on his bacon, laughing.

"Don't look at me like that, you still have my shoes to polish, get to work" Blair waved away Dorota who kept looking at her with a worried look

"I should go too. I promised Nate I would help him with his wedding vows"

Blair gasped "He hasn't written them yet?"

"And you weren't supposed to know that" Dan cursed himself "Don't worry, we'll get it done"

"You better. I put my soul in this wedding"

Dan rolled his eyes "Sure, you did"

They got up together, and Blair picked up Summer.

"I am going to give this young lady a bath, and put her down for a nap because she barely slept last night"

Blair gave Dan her cheek as a goodbye. Dan leaned down, and right before his lips were supposed to touch her, he shifted to kiss Summer on the head.

"She smells better" he grinned at Blair.

"She smells like poop"

"Still better"

Blair reached to punch him on the shoulder, and Dan didn't dodge it, cringing when her fist hit him. Then he leaned back down, laughing against her forehead.

"You'll pay for that" she told him, before turning around to go up the stairs "See you at dinner"

Dan watched her go, until she looked down and gave him a slight smile. When he went to take his coat, Dorota was there, staring at him.

"Is everything okay?" Dan asked.

"It's happening again" Dorota whispered.

"Um…what is?"

Dorota took a step closer to him.

"Miss Blair" she said "She…"

Then Dorota looked warily up the stairs, before looking back at Dan and bending forward, mimicking vomiting. Dan's heart skipped a beat.

"Is the reason why she lost weight because…?"

Dan couldn't bring himself to finish the question, because he was interrupted by his own voice pounding his mind. _If there is too much pressure, perhaps you could go back to sticking your fingers down your fucking throat to lose the weight you took for him._ He felt sick.

But Dorota looked at him confusingly, then waved her hands in negation.

"No, no, Miss Blair don't do that. She lost weight because of intense Polish diet" Dorota rubbed nervously her hands "It's other thing"

"What other thing, Dorota?" Dan was losing his patience.

If Dorota had scrubbed off the bulimia theory, it didn't make his heart beat slower. He watched as Dorota rubbed a hand on her stomach, then when she saw that Dan still didn't get it, formed an arc over it.

Dan stopped breathing.

"Dorota, are you saying…"

"Dorota!" Blair yelled from upstairs "Bring the diapers!"

"I must go!" Dorota hurried up the stairs "Please talk to her, Mister Dan. I think Miss Blair in denial again"

She left him there, with a whole thread of intertwined thoughts in his head.

When Dan could move again, he went directly to Nate's office. Nate had already done writing his vows, and Dan gave his approval without really even reading them.

"Are you okay, man?" Nate asked him "I thought how reunion would be much more jovial than that."

"I think Dorota told me Blair is pregnant"

"What?"

Now that Dan was saying out loud, it was taking a whole other dimension. It wasn't like the last time he had learned Blair was pregnant, because now, there was a fairly good chance that he…

"Jesus, Nate, I can't breathe"

"Hey, calm down. Do you know if…I mean, are you the…?" Nate seemed as uncomfortable as Dan.

"I don't know!" Dan rubbed his face "Has she dated anyone since you guys came back?"

That was also plausible. He had been with a couple of girls in London.

Nate shrugged "Blair and I don't really talk about that. Do you want me to ask Serena?"

"No! Don't. No one can hear about that until I talk to her myself, okay?"

Nate nodded, patting him with compassion on the shoulder.

It turned out that Blair made him pay his comment at breakfast by sitting him next to Chuck at the rehearsal dinner. Dan was sure he was about to have a panic attack. The situation would have been already awkward without Dorota's confession, but then, Dan couldn't help thinking: what if it was Chuck? He could picture it; Blair feeling lonely and stressed out by work and the wedding prep; casually sipping on a bottle of wine at the end of the day; dialing Chuck…

He got up to go get some air. He loosened his tie once he was outside the restaurant, and sat on the sidewalk. About ten minutes later, he heard the door open behind him.

"Did you really think your suit wasn't disgusting enough that you had to sit there?"

Blair's voice pierced through his heart. He couldn't even turn around to look at her. He heard her sigh deeply, then she took a whole minute to fathom the concept of sitting next to him, trying not to think about her dress too much.

"Are you okay?" she asked

Dan shook his head. Blair put a hand on his arm, urging him to turn to her. She was looking at him with worried eyes.

"What's going on?"

"I need to ask you something" Dan coughed to make his voice sound less hoarse "And I need you to be honest, Blair."

She nodded, but her hand left his arm. Dan took a deep breath.

"Have you been with another guy than me, in the last three month?"

"In what is that your business, Humphrey?" Blair frowned.

"Please, just…answer, Blair"

"I haven't. There. Are you happy?"

Dan snorted bitterly "No, Blair. Actually, I'm not. When were you going to tell me that you were pregnant with my child?"

Blair's eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to let out a breathy sound, before she understood and rolled her eyes.

"Oh my God, did Dorota tell you this?"

"Yes. Always great to hear that kind of things from your housekeeper"

"Calm down, Humphrey, I'm not pregnant" Blair waved away the accusation.

Dan blinked "You're not?"

"If I am, then so is Nate. We had oysters for lunch, a couple of weeks ago, and both went home vomiting our guts out"

Dan closed his eyes, relieved, but still slightly upset.

"I don't understand. You two know that you can't digest oysters, why do you keep…"

"We're tired of everyone telling us not to eat something we like" Blair said

"Because it's bad for you"

"We're adults, we can handle it"

"Apparently not"

"We are not having this fight again, Dan!" Blair yelled, and a couple walking by turned to look at them. "Bottom line is I am not bearing your Brooklyn child. My womb would _not_ stand hipster blood"

"Okay. Good." Dan didn't even take notice of the insult.

They stayed there for a couple of minutes, silent.

"What would you have done if I had been pregnant?" Blair finally asked.

Dan loosened up his tie a bit more.

"I don't think…I'm not sure it would be good for us to have that kind of conversation"

"You're right, I'm sorry"

Another silence.

"Do you still have your nightmares?" Dan asked.

Blair shook her head "Do you still have you dreams?" she asked too.

"They stopped"

"I had one"

Dan looked at her, waiting for the tale. She laughed nervously.

"It's silly, really. But it's about you…and me. We were meeting in front of some Parisian café. I don't think we knew each other in my dream"

"That's…weird" Dan said, when he couldn't find any other word.

"Don't I know it"

They laughed together, until they heard the restaurant door open again. Lily was getting out, clutching her coat around her. Blair and Dan stood up.

"You're leaving early, we haven't even had dessert yet" Blair pointed out.

Lily gave a polite smile "Everything was wonderful, Blair. But I just need to rest if I want to last all night tomorrow. If I know something about those two in there, it's that the party will go on as long as there will be music and champagne"

She kissed Blair, before turning to Dan. It was the first time they were seeing each other since the divorce. Lily smiled at him, and reached out to take one of his hand in hers.

"Thank you, for everything you've done for Serena."

"I didn't do much. She is pretty amazing all by herself"

Lily put her other hand on his cheek, warm, and grateful. She had done this so many times over the years, that it didn't surprised Dan. But he knew that this kind of gesture belonged to a time long gone.

"You look so much like him" she said "When he was your age"

When she was in love with him. Lily finally released him and with a last smile, got into a waiting town car. The following year, Dan would publish his third novel, entitled _The Wife. _His main character's name was Daisy, and he felt warmth in his chest when he heard two weeks after the book was published that Lily Bass had filed for divorce. He laughed when he received a card with the initials CB on which was hand written "_Well played"._

Serena's and Nate's wedding was nothing but spectacular, to Blair's eyes. When Nate staring saying his vows, Blair was the one tearing up. At least at first. Serena's eye filled with water when Nate actually thanked her for giving him a black baby.

She had trouble starting saying her own vows, but managed in the end.

"Nate" she said, after swallowing "I really, really love you. With all of my heart. And you have beautiful eyes. And also, I love you"

The minister wasn't sure if he was to go on or not after that, and Dan tried not to laugh at his face when the minister realized that those were Serena's vows. During the whole ceremony, his eyes kept going from Nate and Serena, to Blair, standing opposite him in her curacao blue maid of honor dress.

The buzz they got from the wedding lasted two days. Right before Dan had to catch his flight back to London, he went for a walk in Central Park with Nate, Serena, Blair, and Summer.

Nate pushed Summer in her stroller, Blair hanging on one of his arms and talking about putting Waldorf Designs ads in the Spectator, while Dan and Serena walked behind, discussing the future. Serena told him she wanted to go back to college, and become a PR agent.

Blair was the only one to drive him to the airport. She even walked with him to the boarding gate.

"Do you remember the last time we were here?" she asked.

Dan laughed at the memory "You could really make me do anything. You never reimburse me the plane ticket, by the way"

"You never reimbursed me my Prabal"

"Fair enough"

They smiled at each other, and the speaker called for the boarding of his flight. Dan pulled Blair tight against him. She responded to the embrace.

"I'll miss you" he whispered "It was really good to see you. Come visit, someday"

"I will" Blair nodded as they pulled away.

She watched him go with a last wave.

A week after the wedding, Dan took a decision. He was ready to start a new life, to really start fresh. So he sat down with Jenny, and explained to her he was moving out.

"What? Where?" she asked.

"Hopefully, I'll find a flat –when did I start saying 'flat'? Anyway, hopefully, not far from here"

Jenny frowned and crossed her arms "I thought you liked it here"

"I do, Jenny. I love it. But you have a worst influence on me than Nate"

"Oh, rubbish" Jenny scoffed.

"Jenny. The other night, you came back home with a girl that I had kissed three hours earlier. I think this drew the line"

Jenny shrugged "So uptight"

"Are you mad?"

"I am not mad, Dan" Jenny sighed "I do however suggest that we go to The Muffin House, get a coffee and talk it through"

Dan accepted, only because Jenny being this compliant was too good to pass on it. She didn't say a word as they were walking to the café. Dan understood why when they got in front of it. He looked at Jenny, who just shrugged, and turned around, probably going back home.

Dan took a few steps forward, really facing Blair standing in front of the café.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Blair smiled and shrugged "I don't know, I hear London is nice at this time of the year"

"So this has nothing to do with giving life to a certain dream of yours?" Dan stuffed his hands in his pockets, unable to process how happy he was to see her.

"Perhaps" Blair admitted.

"Mmh kind of breaks the whole magic of it, doesn't it?"

"Fortunately, I don't believe in magic" Blair answered "But I believe in us"

Dan didn't know anything else to do, but smile. They sat inside the café, ordered two cups of tea. Then Blair talked, straightforward.

"I want to be with you, Dan" she said, amongst other things, but that was really the one Dan remembered. "I know we can be…so good together. I know you know it too. We don't have to keep pretending that you being in London isn't the only thing that's kept us from being together because it is."

Dan listened, still smiling, all the time. She was authoritarian, and confident. She was the Blair he fell for, and he had nothing to do with her reappearance. She had done it on her own.

It took really only three words for Dan to know that his life would change forever. Blair scribbled them on a napkin that she folded afterward, and handed to him saying it was her hotel information. Then she stood up, and left the café with a simple "See you".

Dan waited until she was gone to read the napkin. He let out a breath, when he read the words, then started laughing, out of pure joy, all by himself. He left the café in a hurry, more from the excitement because he knew she would be waiting for him outside.

She was standing there, her green trench coat wrapped around her, looking nervously in his direction. She relaxed when she saw him smile, and let him pull her into a kiss.

Months later, while Dan was rocking his son back to sleep, he would laugh, picturing the face of the waiter who cleaned their table, and saw written on a napkin "_Dorota was right"._

* * *

_Again, thanks for reading._

_xo_


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